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" If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. "

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" The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears. "

" An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. "

" I'm an actor. And I guess I've done so many movies I've achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant. "

" People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong. "

" A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. "

" We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. "

" By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. "

" Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. "

" In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. "

" The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. "

" To God, thy country, and thy friend be true. "

" A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. "

" Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college. "

" The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. "

" Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. "

" Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. "

" It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. "

" Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. "

" A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. "

" Muscles come and go; flab lasts. "

" The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. "

" The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does. "

" Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. "