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" I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. "
Norm MacDonald
Radio
Talk
Sports
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" I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration. "
Norm MacDonald
Collaboration
Writing
Love
" I don't like sports where it's like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it, it looks exactly the same, and then at the end one guy gets higher points! It seems so arbitrary; I don't know who's ahead ever. "
Norm MacDonald
Sports
Motorcycle
End
" I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world. "
Norm MacDonald
Ending
Love
Simplicity
" If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious. "
Norm MacDonald
Political
Say
Serious
" I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're accessible to everyone. "
Norm MacDonald
Sports
Me
Listen
" You can't love your team without hating another team. "
Norm MacDonald
Hating
Love
Team
" I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money. "
Norm MacDonald
Good
Ambition
Money
" I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at. "
Norm MacDonald
Doing
Good
Just
" I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world. "
Norm MacDonald
End
Simplicity
Sports
" A lot of people think I'm difficult to work with. It's not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn't really matter. I guess I'm somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy. "
Norm MacDonald
Like
People
Think
" I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical. "
Norm MacDonald
Punch
Always
Joke
" I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest. "
Norm MacDonald
Relationship
Live
Me
" In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can fill a stage with movement and energy, it just looks like a small man on a big stage. "
Norm MacDonald
Energy
You
Man
" Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. "
Norm MacDonald
Like
Whenever
Think
" You're trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent's the same. It's not like you're trying to do evil to them. "
Norm MacDonald
Hate
Evil
Best
" I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on. "
Norm MacDonald
Talking
Funny
Know
" I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser. "
Norm MacDonald
Think
You
Loser
" I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that. "
Norm MacDonald
Like
Interest
Motion
" With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don't like big houses, I don't drive a car, so you know, I just live in a small apartment and I have my computer, which is really cool. "
Norm MacDonald
Drive
Cool
Small
" I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong. "
Norm MacDonald
Political
Politics
Think
" So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating. "
Norm MacDonald
Good
You
Waiting
" I didn't really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious. "
Norm MacDonald
Time
Political
People
" I don't know anything about politics. I wouldn't put too much into my prediction on politics. "
Norm MacDonald
Much
Know
Anything
" I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it. "
Norm MacDonald
Movies
Good
Great
" I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff. "
Norm MacDonald
Like
Stuff
Impressions
" I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead. "
Norm MacDonald
Business
Great
People
" Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles. "
Norm MacDonald
Writing
Miles
Hardest
" I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That's what I've always loved the most, of anything. "
Norm MacDonald
Myself
Show
Always
" I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals. "
Norm MacDonald
Gay
Broadway
Musicals
" I watch political shows for a number of weeks in a row, and all I see are guys arguing with each other over issues I have no idea about. My brother, he loves war-torn places. My dad would always read the paper and tell me I should watch CNN, but I usually wind up watching 'Breaking Bad.' "
Norm MacDonald
Political
Wind
Watch