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" I'm an improviser. I came up doing improv at the U.C.B. Theater in New York for seven years. That's where I started, so improv is what I love. "

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" Honestly, I just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep working. At the end of the day, that's usually one of those things that's going to get you ahead. "

" I have performed for the troops... in Iraq! They loved it! I loved it... It's all good! "

" We can't ask the men and women of this country to go do things for us and then, when they get home, forget about them. It's not part of the deal. "

" I don't mind it so much if I get type cast as an authority figure. I get to do comedy no matter what it is, so it doesn't bother me. "

" I lived in New York for 10 years; I followed the Rangers. Now I live in L.A. I want to adopt a team. I'm always going to be a Kansas City Chiefs and Royals fan. I want to adopt a team in a new town, so I've adopted the Kings. "

" I went through puberty late. I was a little, little, tiny kid. I was still growing in college. "

" I can't quote stats from another decade. I've got friends that can do that. But I am a huge sports fan. In fact, I enjoy all sports, and when I enjoy a game for five minutes, I'm in it for the whole thing. Plus, I do have some teams I loyally follow. "

" My advice is for veterans to seek out mentors, people who are doing what you want to do. You have to decide what you want and have a goal. Don't worry about how you're going to do it. Just trust that you'll get there. "

" I would love to do something dramatic. I don't know if anybody will ever give me the chance, but I would love to try it. I'm trained in acting and spent many years working on it, so it's just a matter of opportunity. "

" I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and I wasn't the biggest, so I got real good at running my mouth and making people laugh and using humor as a way to not get into fights. "

" I knew I wanted to try comedy and acting. Even if I failed, at least I would have tried. It's better than never having tried. "

" When you're leading Marines, you don't screw around, so the comedy is limited in uniform. And when you're a comedian, you can't be heavy handed and come across with tales of gore or material that people won't understand, so I try to keep them separate. "

" I love to play it. I think it's funny. It's always been funny to me. Somebody who's large and in charge but totally wrong-headed. "

" You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan. "

" Whenever I'm given a chance to support veterans' initiatives, I try to do that. Children and veterans - if they're involved, you can pretty much count me in. "

" For the most part, I keep playing big knuckleheads who are like bulls in a china shop. "

" In college, I was a theater and film major at Kansas University. I always had an affinity for comedy. I could probably quote everything from 'Caddyshack,' 'Stripes,' and all those great comedies from the '80s. "

" Just take yourself back to September 2001. As that month went on, and as that autumn unrolled, everybody wanted to do something. How can I help? Do you want my blood? Do you want money for the victims? I was a captain in the Marine Corps. I knew what I could do. I was right there. I was ready. I saw it. I moved the rubble with my own hands. "

" Hopefully, I'm not stealing scenes from other actors, because then they won't want to work with me. "

" I need a coffee, I'm a cold coffee guy. That's how I do. "

" When you go out there to do comedy, you feel like you're doing battle with the audience a lot of the time. You're either going to get 'em, or you're not. "

" I've always been cast in authority roles; I think because I have that presence... Comedically, I can play against that pretty well. I enjoy playing that arrogant ignorance. That's one of my favorite games to play in comedy. "

" That's a good sign for a movie: When it becomes part of the lexicon and pop culture for an entire generation. I've been in many movies, luckily, that get quoted. "

" I've written several pilots that haven't gone, so that's why you haven't seen any. "

" What's my favorite food besides pancakes? I guess it would be flapjacks, followed closely by hotcakes. After that, crepes... but thick crepes. Y'know, like, pancake-thick. "

" Guy's guys are of course welcome! But my audience runs the spectrum of humanity. There's something for everyone! "

" There's no better citizen than a veteran. There's so much waiting for you outside, and it's not something to be intimidated by or scared by; it is something to be embraced. "

" A lot of people think, 'Oh, you made 'SNL.' You're set. You're good.' No. All there is gigs, and you go from one gig to another. And hopefully you get a good gig, and it lasts for a while, and you get good work and people remember it, and you have good memories of it. "

" I've always been a fan of comedy. I've always enjoyed it. It's something I'm very passionate about; it's like lifeblood to me. I had to pursue it. I thought I had a little bit of talent, and if I could make a living at it, I would do it. It's worked out so far. "

" People who drive slow in the left lane on the highway! Are you kidding me? Don't you see everybody passing you, honking and flipping you off? It's not because everyone else is crazy, it's because you're driving slow in the fast lane, you jerk! OMG! It makes me crazy! "