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" In Chicago, we love our crooks! "

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" One person may need (or want) more leisure, another more work; one more adventure, another more security, and so on. It is this diversity that makes a country, indeed a state, a city, a church, or a family, healthy. 'One-size-fits-all,' and that size determined by the State has a name, and that name is 'slavery.' "

" It's hard to write a good plot, it's very hard. "

" If, indeed, a firearm were more dangerous to its possessors than to potential aggressors, would it not make sense for the government to arm all criminals, and let them accidentally shoot themselves? Is this absurd? Yes, and yet the government, of course, is arming criminals. "

" The Israelis would like to live in peace within their borders; the Arabs would like to kill them all. "

" I didn't knowingly meet a conservative until, to my shame, I was 60 years old and sat down and said, 'Wow, I don't understand what this guy's talking about, but he has a great civility about him. Perhaps I better investigate this thing.' "

" There's something in me that just wants to create dialogue. "

" I hate vacations. There's nothing to do. "

" Roll back the clock, and every possession of every great country started with a crime. "

" I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer. "

" I love the British. "

" Culture exists and evolves to relegate to habit categories of interactions the constant conscious reference to which would make human interaction impossible. "

" I've been alienating my public since I was 20 years old. "

" In practice we, in the world, must do business with each other. "

" The quality I most admire in a man is steadfastness. "

" War is tragedy. The great war stories are tragedies. It's the failure of diplomacy. 'War and Peace,' 'A Farewell to Arms,' 'For Whom the Bell Tolls.' Those are some of the greatest tragedies. "

" When the three branches of government have failed to represent the citizenry and the mass of the media has failed to represent the citizenry, then the citizenry better represent the citizenry. "

" I don't really have a social life. "

" I look back upon my Liberal political beliefs with a sort of wonder - as another exercise in self-involvement - rewarding myself for some superiority I could not logically describe. "

" President Obama seems to understand the Constitution as a 'set of suggestions.' "

" It's only words... unless they're true. "

" Movies were never an art form, they were entertainment. It just evolved into an art form from there, and it's still evolving in different ways. "

" I've always been more comfortable sinking while clutching a good theory than swimming with an ugly fact. "

" You know, young actors say all the time, 'Should I use my own life experience?' And my response is, 'What choice do you have?' "

" My dad was an immigrant kid and a Democrat and a Jew, and we didn't know any Republicans in our group. So I grew up Democratic. My dad was a labor lawyer - a very hardworking guy, a one-horse labor lawyer - and then I went to hippie college and lived in the bubble. "

" My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line. "

" Art and mass entertainment and propaganda, they can all be plotted on the same graph, but there is a difference. "

" People ask me, 'What do you do?' And I tell them I'm a writer, but always with the silent reservation, 'I am, of course, not really a writer. Hemingway was a writer.' "

" I'm afraid of only two things: being lazy and being cowardly. "

" I know very well what it is to be out of work and to be cheated by employers and I know what it is to be an employer. "

" I love all insider memoirs. It doesn't matter whether it's truck-drivers or doctors. I think everybody likes to go backstage, find out what people think and what they talk about and what specialised job they have. "