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" I've always found bad films more enjoyable than good ones. "

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" A website can be very time-intensive, but I'd love to have one where people can contribute to it - like invent islands and make their own flags, and their own laws. I think that'd be kind of fun. "

" Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. "

" At least in America, you have freedom of speech, which is a good thing. It's just a question of whether you're allowed to use it on 'Fox News'. "

" Talent is always more interesting - ambition is not interesting. If you have talent, you have to find ways of expressing it, but you may not be a success in the world's terms. "

" I won't read scripts because I have a limited amount of time. Why should I help other people do lame stuff when I can just go out and put on lame stuff of my own? "

" I love my family, my wife, my kids, my dogs, my home, my life. I am a very happy and contented man. "

" My education was paid for by the RAF Benevolent Fund, so a charity school, run like an orphanage, with uniforms and beatings. It was tough, but it got me to Cambridge - like being a chrysalis suddenly becoming a butterfly. "

" It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We have very funny people, still. "

" If the studios paid the artists, how would they ever be able to afford the executives? "

" To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best. "

" You look just like you! "

" I was thrilled to win a Tony in 2005 for 'Spamalot'. "

" I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week. "

" The dreadful thing about getting older is you cry at the drop of a hat. "

" Nobody gets irony anymore, as we are now living in the post-ironic age. Once George Bush gets a library, our irony is dead. "

" Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. "

" I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing. "

" I will jump on anybody's private plane at the drop of a hat. I'm an old-fashioned lower-middle-class boy. "

" Americans like to think 'Python' is how English people really are. There is an element of truth to that. "

" The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester? "

" John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it. "

" I never think in terms of target audience. I try to write what makes me laugh, so I'm the target audience. I guess I just hope there's another person in America like me. "

" You initially become funny as a kid because you're looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that's all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam's the same. All of us together make one completely insane person. "

" Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it. "

" I think the special thing about Python is that it's a writers' commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is. "

" I love stage work. The thing about plays is that they're perfectible. With film, you shoot that take and maybe another. During 'Spamalot,' I rewrote Act II three times. "

" I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens. "

" I'm more surprised than anyone that 'Spamalot's done so well. You can never predict what's going to be a hit. "

" People can tell the truth much more freely when they're apparently lying. "

" Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have. "