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" I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat, and I built a boat. "

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" In junior high P.E., I was way too shy to take a shower in front of the other kids. It was a horribly awkward time - body hair, odors... So I'd go from my sweaty shirt back into my regular clothes and have to continue the day. "

" I've always had, when I needed it, an extreme amount of focus that I could put into something. That has served me well. "

" I've never been a conceited person or cocky, never felt boastful, but I always had a sense of self-worth; I always had a real sense of myself. "

" Oftentimes, even as a little kid, I would get up before anyone else. My brother would still be sleeping, my mom would still be sleeping, so I would literally play 'Monopoly' by myself. I would play board games; I would do things by myself. "

" When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season. "

" Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many different people who come in to host the show and you get thrown into so many situations and learn how to think on your feet, so filmmaking actually feels slow, in a good way. "

" I'm a Progressive. Much in the same way our founding fathers - who, oddly enough, wouldn't get elected today - were Progressives. "

" I would love to play Simon Cowell in a movie - heck, I would love it. It would be my dream role. "

" I live by 'Earnin' and burnin'.' Meaning, I like to make money and spend it before I even have it. That's the way I live my life. "

" You still have that competitive thing where you want to try to make hits. That won't go away, unless the mayor of show business says my time's up. "

" I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I answered phones. I somehow avoided being a waiter. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the order straight. I'm not much of a multi-tasker. "

" Happens I am very political. I have deep political instincts. "

" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "

" When I was a kid, 'Land of the Lost' was my favorite show, just because it was - in the landscape of Saturday morning cartoons - it was so unique. It was a live-action show and kids were in it, these creatures, these Sleestaks and dinosaurs. Every week was a different adventure. I couldn't wait. I loved it so much. "

" My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool. "

" I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great. "

" Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh. "

" I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny. "

" I will watch a movie that is quote unquote dark and not get the qualification of what is dark and what is not. "

" I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low crime rate where we lived. Maybe that's where the comedy comes from, as some sort of reaction to the safe, boring suburbs. "

" If you are going to wrestle a bear, try to stay away from all fish oil products, you know. I mean it's tough for me, because I love to rub myself with salmon oil every day - it's a great conditioner for the hair, skin. "

" There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. "

" By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wanted a show business career, but I was suppressing it. "

" I still regret that I never played soccer in high school. I chose basketball over soccer. "

" 'Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, 'This could be the last movie I ever make,' and I could never have predicted that it'd become such a popular film. "

" In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it. "

" When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was funny!' But when it flips, people can get really thrown by it. "

" I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. "

" I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks. "

" I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot. "