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" Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh. "

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" When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season. "

" My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool. "

" Enjoy the little fun things - like taking your kids to school - before they're all grown up. "

" I've had moments in my life when I've thought if I wasn't acting, if I wasn't doing what I do and I had a career in the private sector and I didn't have a family, that I do have some tendencies where I could really kind of have a monastic existence and be okay with it. "

" The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. "

" Oftentimes, even as a little kid, I would get up before anyone else. My brother would still be sleeping, my mom would still be sleeping, so I would literally play 'Monopoly' by myself. I would play board games; I would do things by myself. "

" There's nothing sexy about Orange County. "

" I left home to go to college, and then I moved back home. I moved back for three years from 21 to 24. "

" Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal. "

" 'Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, 'This could be the last movie I ever make,' and I could never have predicted that it'd become such a popular film. "

" I will watch a movie that is quote unquote dark and not get the qualification of what is dark and what is not. "

" James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was. "

" I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny. "

" It's tough for me to get rid of clothes. I grew up in a household with a limited budget and we really had to make our nice clothes last, and so now I'll get free pairs of shoes and this, that and the other and I'll be like, 'Oh great!'; even though it stresses me out that I don't have enough room to put them, I can't throw them away. "

" I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot. "

" In junior high P.E., I was way too shy to take a shower in front of the other kids. It was a horribly awkward time - body hair, odors... So I'd go from my sweaty shirt back into my regular clothes and have to continue the day. "

" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "

" I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously. "

" In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it. "

" I live by 'Earnin' and burnin'.' Meaning, I like to make money and spend it before I even have it. That's the way I live my life. "

" I've always had, when I needed it, an extreme amount of focus that I could put into something. That has served me well. "

" You still have that competitive thing where you want to try to make hits. That won't go away, unless the mayor of show business says my time's up. "

" It'd be great to be in a position where you can make choices regardless of money. My tastes are always gonna lead me to go for the amazing project where I'm being paid in Turkish cantaloupes. "

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" When I first started doing sketch comedy, I promised myself that if I were ever to have any success in this business, I wouldn't hold back. Why get there and play it safe? "

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" When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was funny!' But when it flips, people can get really thrown by it. "

" I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. "