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" Laws were changed and regulations repealed until an Enron can set sail without responsibility, supervision, or accountability. "

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" To mistake Midland for the volk heartland is the West Texas equivalent of assuming that Greenwich, Connecticut, is Levittown. "

" One of the few things I like about Bill Clinton is that he has very good manners. If his momma were still alive, I would congratulate her. "

" Truly, if you can't cover a five-car pile-up on Route 128, you should not be covering a presidential campaign. "

" The Internet goes doot-doot-doot - it goes sideways. There's nothing hierarchical about it. And the best thing about it is also the worst thing about it, which is there are no gatekeepers on the Internet. Consequently, there's a whole lot of bad information on the Internet. But I think that sorts itself out over time. "

" Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced. "

" Should a girl like me, in whom the milk of human kindness flows copiously for everyone, from protein-shy Hottentots to the glandular obese, actually aim a few swift boots at the prone form of Sen. Phil Gramm? Nah. But it's tempting. "

" Anyone who has ever spent time listening to a legislature knows the astonishing speed at which all presiding officers and reading clerks can spit out the formulaic incantations of parliamentary procedure. "

" I'm sorry to say cancer can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person. "

" If you really wanted to settle down the Middle East, if what you wanted was change in the Middle East, it is perfectly obvious that the first step is resolving the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. "

" I really think the single most important thing to remember about trying to fix the schools is that there is no such thing as an instant result. "

" Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim, and hearts gotta bleed. "

" I've always had trouble with male authority figures because my father was such a martinet. "

" It is the stories we don't get, the ones we miss, pass over, fail to recognize, don't pick up on, that will send us to hell. "

" There is never anyone quite so wonderful as the people who were seniors when you were a freshman. "

" Fourteen-year-old boys are not part of a well-regulated militia. Members of wacky religious cults are not part of a well-regulated militia. Permitting unregulated citizens to have guns is destroying the security of this free state. "

" If you grew up white before the civil rights movement anywhere in the South, all grown-ups lied. They'd tell you stuff like, 'Don't drink out of the colored fountain, dear, it's dirty.' In the white part of town, the white fountain was always covered with chewing gum and the marks of grubby kids' paws, and the colored fountain was always clean. "

" Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. "

" People like to help. They like to be able to do something for you. Let them. "

" The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win. "

" Anyone who watched George W. and Karl Rove while the former was governor of Texas will recognize a familiar pattern. Like much of Bush's social policy - from faith-based social services to railing against gay marriage - women's issues are one of the bones they've decided they can throw to the Christian right. "

" Right before the Bush inauguration, many women were greatly reassured when Laura said of Roe v. Wade on the 'Today' show, 'No, I don't think it should be overturned.' Three days later, her husband reimposed the 'global gag rule' on groups abroad that receive U.S. funding for family planning. "

" The reason there is no noblesse oblige about Dubya is because he doesn't admit to himself or anyone else that he owes his entire life to being named George W. Bush. He didn't just get a head start by being his father's son - it remained the single most salient fact about him for most of his life. "

" As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office. "

" I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. "

" Some days, I'd feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office - at least he doesn't lie about the weather. "

" I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. "

" Even after four years in office, George W. Bush's record on women doesn't leap out at you. It's composed almost entirely of little things, small enough to fly well under the media's radar screen, so few of us have any sense of their cumulative impact. "

" The trouble with capitalism as a system is that only those who have or can get capital can make it work for them, and that leaves out damn near all of us. "

" I saw a shrink because I thought I suffered from fear of success. "