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" Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim, and hearts gotta bleed. "

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" Old-fashioned anti-immigrant prejudice always brings out some old-fashioned racists. "

" We should all laugh more at our elected officials - it's good for us and good for them. "

Elected Officials

" The trouble with capitalism as a system is that only those who have or can get capital can make it work for them, and that leaves out damn near all of us. "

" The uproar of the late '60s - the antiwar movement, black riots, angry women. It was a wonderful time. "

" What we call politics now and what most political writers write about is the empathy and the bonding and the word choice and the horse rights, and it has nothing to do with what's really happening to people's lives. "

" Legislative language is governed by a law of etymology that is also the ancient code of the bureaucracy: It doesn't have to be right, it just has to be close enough for government work. If they understand what you mean, it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it. "

" People like to help. They like to be able to do something for you. Let them. "

" When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. "

" In all my fantasies, I always assumed I would get married and have six children along the way with the greatest of ease. "

" It's a monstrous idea to put people in prison and keep them there. "

" Even after four years in office, George W. Bush's record on women doesn't leap out at you. It's composed almost entirely of little things, small enough to fly well under the media's radar screen, so few of us have any sense of their cumulative impact. "

" One of the things I said was that I had been in great hopes that I would become a better person as a result of confronting my own mortality, but it actually never happened. I didn't become a better person. "

" From orphanages to space colonies, it was all shallow but endearingly enthusiastic futurism. Gingrich was the kind of person who read a book or two on something and would then be quite afire as to how this was going to fit into some shining future. "

" Rush Limbaugh's pathetic abuse of logic, his absurd pomposity, his relentless self-promotion, his ridiculous ego - now those, friends, are appropriate targets for satire. "

" I've thought for years that newspapers should all be owned by nonprofits. "

" We liberals do sometimes forsake our vows of compassion for all mankind. "

" I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle. "

" There was really quite a remarkable level of sexism on newspapers when I started. "

" I've said it before: War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were 'German dogs.' They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds. "

" Am I the only person covering politics who ever noticed that Newt Gingrich is actually a nincompoop? "

" I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar. "

" It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. "

" Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. "

" There's been a lot of experience with torture in history. It doesn't work. "

" I have known George W. Bush slightly since we were both in high school, and I studied him closely as governor. He is neither mean nor stupid. What we have here is a man shaped by three intertwining strands of Texas culture, combined with huge blinkers of class. The three Texas themes are religiosity, anti-intellectualism, and machismo. "

" The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion. "

" Preemptive war is what Israel did in '67 with Arab armies on its borders. "

" I am one of those people who are out of touch with their emotions. I tend to treat my emotions like unpleasant relatives - a long-distance call once or twice or year is more than enough. If I got in touch with them, they might come to stay. "

" The stakes they play for in politics are paper and money. The chips they play with are your life. "