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" Mr. Olsen in the fifth grade made me want to be a writer. He said, 'Chuck, you do this really well. And this is much better than setting fires, so keep it up.' That made me a writer. "

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" I think my heart always goes out to men at the peak of their celebrity who checked out. There's such an odd, horrible trend in my lifetime for it - Kurt Cobain, David Foster Wallace, Alexander McQueen, Heath Ledger. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Always

Think

Men

" To merely observe your culture without contributing to it seems very close to existing as a ghost. "

" Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed. "

" I wouldn't get nearly as many books written if I lived in New York. The Columbia Gorge is fantastic. When the sun shines, I just want to be outdoors. "

" It takes a lot to get people talking in airplanes. But once they start talking, you just can't shut them up. "

" My first four books, from 'Fight Club' to 'Choke,' dealt with personal identity issues. The crises the narrators found themselves in were generated by themselves. "

" I was born in 1962, and it seems that throughout my entire life the world has demanded peace but maintained conflict. "

" My policy is to not read any reviews. "

" At the age of 31, I realized, 'Oh my God, I may die like everyone else.' "

Chuck Palahniuk

May

Die

" A short story is something that you can hold in your mind. You can really analyze how the entire thing works, like a machine. "

Chuck Palahniuk

You

Story

" I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next thing so that I'm not trying to please them. I've spent a huge amount of time not communicating with those folks and denying that they exist. "

" Every decade, we get a stunning collection of dynamic, heartbreaking short stories. In the past, those collections came from Barry Hannah, Mark Richard, and Thom Jones. "

" I haven't had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn't hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Child

Lucky

" The third person allows characters to really attack themselves. We all do this - attack ourselves - every hour of our lives. "

" My writing process isn't a very organized thing. "

" My parents divorced about the same time the movie 'The Parent Trap' came out, about two twins at camp who scheme to get their parents back together. I had that same fantasy. "

" I will never write a sequel to anything that I will ever write. "

" The pretentiousness of literature really annoys me; the way a writer is held as this sort of magical person to be revered on the stage. Everything I do on tour is to try and destroy that pretense. "

" My father worked for the railroad, and whenever a train crashed, we would go as a family and steal food from the boxcars. One year we stole a case of butterscotch pudding that was for export to Israel. It took us years to get through. "

" The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other. "

" It seems that so much writing is being done in the nineteenth-century model, where every connection has to be thoroughly explained. "

" My characters tend to be more dynamic because they're reaching that point in their lives where their old way of being is breaking down. They're conflicted by the idea that they don't know what's next. You could call it Kierkegaard's leap of faith, when you get tired of sort of reinventing yourself on a very superficial level. "

" Crap has always happened, crap is happening, and crap will continue to happen. "

" My books didn't fit a marketing niche. "

" When I first started writing, it was me alone with a computer in my apartment. I hated the time away from other people, and my writing sucked. Now I have a laptop; I can do the most tedious part of my job in a public place. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Time

Alone

" Any real belief in death is just wishful thinking. "

" Every time I write something, I think, this is the most offensive thing I will ever write. But no. I always surprise myself. "

" I don't think 'Guts' could get financed as a movie. "

" More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Really

Myself

" We kind of deny the stages of life. "