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" Crap has always happened, crap is happening, and crap will continue to happen. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" My stories always have these twisted happy endings, and the boy always gets the girl. "

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" There will always be an underground. "

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" People said that 'Fight Club' would be impossible to turn into a movie, but I think David Fincher loved that challenge. "

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" I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustrate my themes. "

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" If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie. "

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" With a book, you're guaranteed the audience has a certain skill level and that the audience has to make an ongoing effort to consume this product and that the project is being consumed by just one person at a time. I really want to play to that strength because it's one of the few advantages books still have. "

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" Every author has to eventually write a food book. "

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" You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet them. You see in their eyes that they expected something so entirely different, and here they are meeting... you. "

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" You hear the best stories from ordinary people. That sense of immediacy is more real to me than a lot of writerly, literary-type crafted stories. I want that immediacy when I read a novel. "

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" Writing in public gives you that access to a junkyard of details all around you. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You can tell a more over-the-top incredible story if you use a nonfiction form. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I really love idiot, enlightened characters - these characters who fail to engage with the drama of their immediate circumstances; they fail to be reactive and enrolled by drama as it happens around them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The pretentiousness of literature really annoys me; the way a writer is held as this sort of magical person to be revered on the stage. Everything I do on tour is to try and destroy that pretense. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The bright future is that readers are accepting more varied forms of stories. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The answer is there is no answer. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My way of being with people is probably incredibly unhealthy, in that I'll be incredibly social, and I won't write a word for maybe a year, and I'll just be with people, going to parties and soaking up stories, and just sort of recharging all of my ideas. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I haven't shoplifted since I was 13. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I believe in something. But I don't believe that anything can hold a grudge for long enough to condemn its creation to eternal punishment. Nobody can hold a grudge that long, even God. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My books are all fantastically sentimental. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it seemed the most extreme reaction to the earnestness of hippies. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Being lonely is not a bad thing for a writer. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If you start in the pit of despair with these profane, awful things, even a glimmer of hope or awareness is going to occur that's much brighter coming from this dark, awful beginning. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Your life isn't about doing one perfect 'thing' and then falling down dead. It's more like going to church or writing a book. You do it over and over, always trying to be a little bit better. Then you die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" At school I was lazy. But I started working when I was 15, washing dishes at a local truck stop restaurant. I was really, really bored with school, and I wanted to get a job as fast as I could. School was just so easy. There was just no challenge to it. "

Chuck Palahniuk