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" My biggest fear in life is living Nativity scenes. I hide in cars and drive around looking at them. Something about it is really scary to me. What parent would put their child in there with mules and camels and straw? "

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" To me, the most important thing is the script. I would never make a movie that I didn't write. I wouldn't know how to. "

John Waters

Important

Never

Most

" What fashion has started from hackers? They have bad posture, and they don't go out. I wish I had a hacker boyfriend - they stay at home up in the bedroom. "

" I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it. "

John Waters

I Wish

Maybe

" For a meal out, my number one restaurant is Peter's Inn. I first went there when it was an old biker bar. Believe me, when it was Motorcycle Pete's, that was fun. I had my 30th birthday there. "

" Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard? "

" Do I like how digital films look? Sometimes, but sometimes it looks flat, and ugly. "

" Putting out compilation records, buying the right to music is incredibly complicated. You have to find the writer of the song and the publisher of the song - not the singer - and make two separate deals. "

" I always wanted them to look like Hollywood movies; I just didn't know how to do it. "

" I went through different looks. At one period, I was preppy because that's how I grew up. But then I had bleached hair in the front. And I used to wear - then I wanted to be a beatnik. It was hard to be a beatnik in suburban Baltimore. But I wanted to be one. "

" The first record I got, I think I stole. I was with my mother; she turned her back, and I slipped it in my coat. And I think it was 'Cry Baby' by The Bonnie Sisters. That or 'Lucille' by Little Richard. "

" Underground, raw movies that come out of nowhere and change everything - they aren't slick-looking. But I have nothing against slick-looking as long as the scripts are funny. "

" In any film business, if you're trying to get your next film made, you would never say, 'Oh, my last film was a cult film.' I'd say, 'Oh, great, well I hope this one isn't!' I always say to Johnny Knoxville, 'How do you do it? You sort of do the same thing we did, except you made millions, and I made hundreds.' "

" My father was horrified by my movies, yet he lent me the money to make the early ones. And I paid him back with interest. "

John Waters

Movies

Money

" I believe if you come out of a movie and the first thing you say is, 'The cinematography was beautiful,' it's a bad movie. "

" My perfect day in Baltimore begins with getting my five newspapers. Then I would write. "

" I didn't follow anybody's advice, really. "

" When I was young, there were bars called the 'Hungry Hole,' and in those same neighbourhoods are now gay people pushing baby carriages. "

" A hair-hopper is someone who pretends they're rich, who really wasn't brought up very wealthy but now tries to brag that they're rich, and they spend too much time on their hair. "

" My mother was Catholic, my father not. I went to Catholic high school. Every form of education failed me. I was trouble. "

" The nightlife in Baltimore is very mixed. Any gay people I know go to the hipster bars; they don't go to the gay bars. Start your night at the Club Charles, and then you can meet people to go other places. The Charles has been Baltimore's favourite cool hipster bar forever. "

" I want to be commercial. I'm never the person who says, 'I don't care if people don't see my movies.' I always want people to see my movies. "

" They all want you to make a movie for under a million dollars, which I don't want to. I don't want to be a faux radical film-maker at 70. I did that. I don't need to do it again. "

" Fellini was a little lofty for a teenage boy, but certainly he was a huge influence. "

" My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school. "

" I wanted to own a junk yard as a child, you know. I used to smash cars and think, 'Oh, my God, there's been an accident.' My mother would take me to junk yards, and I look back on that and I think, 'Wow, that was really loving.' "

" Always, European art cinema has been the most threatening and the grimmest and the most transgressive, I think. "

" I think it would be fun to die onstage! Just drop dead in the middle of my show? That wouldn't be so bad. "

" Everybody think they're an outsider - that word's over! When I was young, being an outsider, I thought it was a bad thing you didn't want to be. "

" I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy. "

" My mother's brother became the undersecretary of the interior for Nixon, which did cause a little drama in my family because I was going to riots and everything, but he turned out great and gave us a nice cheque for an AIDS benefit we had for the 'Serial Mom' premiere. "