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" The first record I got, I think I stole. I was with my mother; she turned her back, and I slipped it in my coat. And I think it was 'Cry Baby' by The Bonnie Sisters. That or 'Lucille' by Little Richard. "

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" My mother was Catholic, my father not. I went to Catholic high school. Every form of education failed me. I was trouble. "

John Waters

School

Education

Father

" If I made a film today, it would certainly be on digital. "

" I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you. "

" I never got along in school, really - I already knew what I wanted to do. I have never in my life got a paycheck from anywhere in the world that asked if I went to school. "

" I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy. "

" They all want you to make a movie for under a million dollars, which I don't want to. I don't want to be a faux radical film-maker at 70. I did that. I don't need to do it again. "

" My perfect day in Baltimore begins with getting my five newspapers. Then I would write. "

" I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves. "

" Science fiction is something I never understood. "

" I had a stage when I was 12 years old. I had a puppet show career. I wrote horror stories in camp, and all the parents called and complained. "

" There are schools for weird children now. There wasn't when I was young. "

" The few movies I can even think of that I watch over and over would be the Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton movie 'Boom!', 'Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!', and 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.' I wouldn't call any of them mainstream. "

" Liberal censors are the worst. I don't remember any trouble with 'Serial Mom' or 'Cecil B. Demented' or any of them. Except 'Cry Baby.' "

" My father was horrified by my movies, yet he lent me the money to make the early ones. And I paid him back with interest. "

John Waters

Movies

Money

" I wrote about Herschell in my book 'Shock Value,' for which I interviewed him. We became friends; I had dinner with Herschell the last year before he died. He was elderly, but his mind was perfectly intact. "

" I've taught in prison; I've counseled people... I've been arrested; I've been to the psychiatrist. "

" Marriage equality is a hustler's feeding frenzy of gold-diggers. I campaigned for marriage equality in Maryland because I believe we should have the right to it, but I personally don't want to get married. I don't want to imitate the traditions of heterosexual people. I hate weddings: they make me uneasy. "

John Waters

People

Marriage

" What fashion has started from hackers? They have bad posture, and they don't go out. I wish I had a hacker boyfriend - they stay at home up in the bedroom. "

" New York was scarier than Baltimore ever was. It was terrible in the '70s. I'm glad they cleaned it up. I got mugged; I had to go to the hospital. Every time you went out, you got robbed. It was horrible. You can't imagine. "

John Waters

Hospital

You

" Do I like how digital films look? Sometimes, but sometimes it looks flat, and ugly. "

" Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left. "

" Putting out compilation records, buying the right to music is incredibly complicated. You have to find the writer of the song and the publisher of the song - not the singer - and make two separate deals. "

" I always was a weird child. My mother told me the story that, in kindergarten, I would come home and tell her about this weird kid in my class who drew only with black crayons and didn't speak to other kids. I talked about it so much that my mother brought it up with the teacher, who said, 'What? That's your son.' "

" I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it. "

John Waters

I Wish

Maybe

" Life is a rotten lottery. I've had a pretty amazing life, a good life, and God knows I'm thankful, but I do believe that after 30, stop whining! Everybody's dealt a hand, and it's not fair what you get. But you've got to deal with it. "

" I don't like reality TV. I don't want to look down on people. "

" I do take a one-week vacation every year, and I go to London in the fall. "

John Waters

Year

Vacation

" 'Blood Feast' is my favorite of Lewis' films. When we shot 'Serial Mom,' and I showed them the infamous tongue scene, one of the female crew members said, 'I hate when a guy does that.' "

" My 40th birthday I held in an old-age home. My 50th I had at Pravda before it opened in New York. My 60th I had at Pastis. For my 70th, I thought, 'I don't need to have a celebrity party this year. I'm going to go take my oldest, closest friends to Paris.' "

" If I'm seeing a three-hour foreign film, I don't want to watch it in a bed. "