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" My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. "
Rita Rudner
Up
Want
Him
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" Dating is for tools. "
Neil Strauss
Dating
Tools
" Wells Fargo's internal review only covers unauthorized accounts dating back to 2011. News reports and court documents suggest these problems might have existed long before then. The 2013 'Los Angeles Times' articles led to the L.A. city attorney's office investigation into Wells Fargo's sales practices. "
Richard Shelby
Dating
News
Problems
" I've thought long and hard about this, and I think a lot of the dysfunction around dating has to do with men having the control. "
Whitney Wolfe Herd
Think
Thought
Men
" I think the most important thing about learning comedy is to start from who you are. If you begin the process by imitating what you perceive to be a comedy rhythm, you will get laughs sooner, but you will not be unique. "
Rita Rudner
Learning
Start
Process
" It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. "
Carrot Top
Dating
Wish
Weird
" I fantasize about going back to high school with the knowledge I have now. I would shine. I would have a good time, I would have a girlfriend. I think that's where a lot of my pain comes from. I think I never had any teenage years to go back to. "
Spalding Gray
Knowledge
Time
School
" I need a life outside of soccer. So I very much welcome, you know, new love interests and dating and friends and family. "
Hope Solo
Welcome
Life
You
" The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. "
Rita Rudner
Acting
Dancing
Thought
" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "
Emily V. Gordon
Marriage
Dating
Change
" Up until age 40, most men are just not as mature as women. So, it makes sense that a lot of women date up in age a bit. "
Patti Stanger
Age
Women
Sense
" Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. "
Scott Adams
Nothing
Better
Dating
" I'm a bit of a romantic, to a fault. It's led me to some great things and also some sad things. It's made me a better person, to keep a good spirit about dating. "
Alexander Koch
Romantic
Sad
Dating
" Dodi got a lot of criticism when he began dating Princess Diana. No one seemed to think he was good enough for her. "
Lorna Luft
Dating
Think
Criticism
" When someone is good, but it doesn't seem like their world will collapse if they don't get the part, it's more appealing. It's like dating someone: You don't want someone who's too into you. "
Steve Carell
Want
You
Dating
" I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money! "
Rita Rudner
Know
You
Someone
" Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women. "
Natalie Portman
Smart
Women
More
" Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence. "
Rita Rudner
Much
Independence
Done
" It's tough to be 68 and dating. I've given it up now. "
Ian McLagan
Dating
Up
Tough
" All men that date me have to know that their name may end up in a pop song. "
Kesha
" I want to start dating the man that I'm gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I'm gonna be with. I don't play any games. I'm too old for that. I've been there; I've been around the block. "
LisaRaye McCoy-Misick
Fun
Dating
Know
" Dating is all about the chase. It's fun! "
Lauren Conrad
Fun
About
Dating
" I'm single, and I hate dating. "
Keshia Knight Pulliam
Dating
Single
Hate
" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "
Graham Norton
Long
People
You
" I have experienced bad dating and ineptitude with women all across the globe, from Vietnam to Paris. When I was 21, women were an enigma; they were this code that had to be cracked. They were 'The Other.' I have often thought writing this stuff into stand-up and shows would be an exorcism, but it hasn't been; it makes no difference. "
Stephen Merchant
Thought
Writing
Dating
" I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I'm embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it. "
Torrie Wilson
Say
Dating
Fun
" Ever since the infamous quiz show scandals of the 1950s, the feds had insisted that TV game shows be honest - or that at least they didn't cheat. So as a 'Dating Game' bachelor, I didn't know what I was going to be asked. The other bachelors and I were required to concoct our answers in real time. "
Seth Shostak
Honest
Know
Real
" I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. "
Rita Rudner
Care
Take Care
Parents
" I'm typically single. I'm the girl who - I call it girl-next-door-itis - the hot guy is friends with and gets all his relationship advice from but never considers dating. "
Taylor Swift
Relationship
Dating
Friends
" My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. "
Rita Rudner
Dog
Relationship
Husband
" I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' "
Rita Rudner
Go
Ballet
Summer