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All Quotes by author - Graham Norton

" A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. "

" All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. "

" All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly. "

" All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth. "

" An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot. "

" Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. "

" Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!' "

" Britain's such a twisted, weird little place. "

" Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No! "

" Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. "

" I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship. "

" I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it. "

" I am really bad at actually interviewing people. "

" I am very quick to judge. "

" I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive. "

" I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer. "

" I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes. "

" I don't think anyone wants to be gay. "

" I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. "

" I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness. "

" If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt. "

" If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win. "

" I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything. "

" I loved Lucille Ball growing up. "

" I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case. "

" I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long. "

" In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! "

" I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time. "

" I think the word is adult! "

" It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it? "

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