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" New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat. "

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" Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. "

" The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. "

" Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. "

" A quotation in a speech, article or book is like a rifle in the hands of an infantryman. It speaks with authority. "

" I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer. "

" I am a drinker with writing problems. "

" If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. "

" No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today. "

" If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it. "

" Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. "

" What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides. "

" If you accept your limitations you go beyond them. "

" At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self. "

" Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations a dozen times a day. "

" A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. "

" Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops. "

" No man can discover his own talents. "

" I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse. "

" Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. "

" The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted. "

" The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. "

" All publicity is good, except an obituary notice. "

" What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque. "

" There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary. "