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" The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. "

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" The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted. "

" I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse. "

" Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. "

" If you accept your limitations you go beyond them. "

" I am a drinker with writing problems. "

" If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it. "

" All publicity is good, except an obituary notice. "

" No man can discover his own talents. "

" If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. "

" Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. "

" No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today. "

" Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops. "

" I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer. "

" There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary. "

" What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque. "

" What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides. "

" Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations a dozen times a day. "

" New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat. "

" At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self. "

" When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. "

" A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. "

" Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. "

" The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. "

" Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. "