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" Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill. "
Julie Burchill
Hill
Humour
No Sense
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" The freedom that women were supposed to have found in the Sixties largely boiled down to easy contraception and abortion; things to make life easier for men, in fact. "
Julie Burchill
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" Being a monarchist, and fawning over those 'above' you, you must naturally despise those 'below' or on the same socioeconomic level as yourself, because that is how hierarchy worship works. "
Julie Burchill
Over
You
Yourself
" It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us. "
Julie Burchill
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London
" When I moved out of London 13 years ago, I found a whole other reason not to drive. This was because my new husband Dan, unlike my dad, did drive, and this became a great source of fun and adventure. "
Julie Burchill
Drive
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" The secret is not to care what anyone thinks of you. "
Julie Burchill
Anyone
Secret
Thinks
" Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile. "
Julie Burchill
Life
Death
Smile
" The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps. "
Julie Burchill
Me
Fear
Body
" Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off. "
Julie Burchill
More
Far
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" The latest twist on the pampering concept is spa parties, where a group of friends take over an entire spa. "
Julie Burchill
Take
Where
Twist
" Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist. "
Julie Burchill
Bridges
Tourist
Never
" As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man. "
Julie Burchill
Woman
Song
Think
" I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in some touchy-feely quarters, that all women are, or can be, beautiful. "
Julie Burchill
People
Women
I Am
" The allegedly 'classy' magazines often seem to be in an endless, undeclared competition to see who can climb furthest up the fundament of Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Lopez. "
Julie Burchill
Competition
See
Up
" Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable. "
Julie Burchill
Being
Alone
Professional
" Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years. "
Julie Burchill
Years
Think
Restless
" It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast. "
Julie Burchill
Face
Said
Pretty Face
" But just think what a boring, bread-and-milk world this would be without the boastful. "
Julie Burchill
World
Without
Think
" What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway? "
Julie Burchill
Now
Smoke
Mirrors
" As I have got older, I have found myself making friends with the ease and swiftness that other people pick up fuzzballs on their jumpers. And I believe it is probably my lack of longing for 'The One' that makes me so popular. "
Julie Burchill
People
Myself
Me
" Show me a frigid women and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man. "
Julie Burchill
Women
Show
Me
" Most women are wise to the fact that lots of men love a cat-fight, and thus go out of their way not to give them one. "
Julie Burchill
Wise
Go
Love
" As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money. "
Julie Burchill
Child
Hometown
Library
" Fact is, famous people say fame stinks because they love it so - like a secret restaurant or holiday island they don't want the hoi polloi to get their grubby paws on. "
Julie Burchill
Love
Famous
Holiday
" Monarchists frequently declare that without the royal family, Britain would be 'nothing.' What a woeful lack of love for one's country such statements express. "
Julie Burchill
Royal
Country
Family
" Grooming oneself with all the crazed compulsion of an under-exercised lab rat in order to hook a rich man and obtain a lush lifestyle makes a certain (albeit seedy) sense. "
Julie Burchill
Lab
Man
Rat
" I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness. "
Julie Burchill
Sad
Women
Time
" We are used to female writers who use their private lives as unmitigated material being somewhat hormonal; this somehow 'excuses' what might be seen as a highly unfeminine ability to turn their personal upsets into money. "
Julie Burchill
Money
Excuses
Ability
" Shame, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder. "
Julie Burchill
Shame
Like
Beauty
" A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men. "
Julie Burchill
Feminist
Fun
Most
" No matter how old and glorious the models, sad indeed is the woman who sees fashion as a means of self-expression rather than an agent of social control. "
Julie Burchill
Control
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Matter