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" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "

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" I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic. "

" I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. "

" There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. "

" I loved doing 'Pennies from Heaven.' Because you have to understand that I'd been doing comedy for 15 to 20 years, and suddenly along came the opportunity to do this beautiful film. It was so emotional to me. I loved it. I don't think it was a good career move, but I have no regrets about doing it. "

" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "

" In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings. "

" Memories are doing funny things to us. "

" I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day. "

Matthew Lillard

" Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. "

" I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference. "

" When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. "

" Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it. "

" Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names. "

Shigeru Miyamoto

" It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. "

" We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. "

" I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do. "

" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "

" When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. "

" Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. "

Alfred Hitchcock

" I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. "

Paula Poundstone

" To handle that stardom, the red carpets, the photo shoots, people all of a sudden recognizing you and following you in everyday life, it's a bit weird. It's strange, and it can have funny effects on you in terms of do you like it or don't you like it. Some people run away from it, some people embrace it; I found a good middle ground. "

" I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself anymore. "

" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "

" Life is hard. After all, it kills you. "

Katharine Hepburn

" Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. "

" The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' "

Richard Branson

" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "

" It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. "

" Personally, I feel like I'm trying to redefine what a really good rapper can be like. Like, I think it's not often where a good rapper can be making funny music. "

" It seems like everybody's perception of me is very bipolar. To one group, it's overpaid, overrated; to another group, it's underpaid, underrated, underdog. It's funny to me because there's no real balance. "