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" I keep vampire hours, going to bed at 2 A.M. and waking up at about 10:30-11 A.M. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Earth was not built for six billion people all running around and being passionate about things. The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs. "

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" In Canada, we're happy to provide a safe haven for next-door neighbors in the middle of a marital dispute. And if anyone trips while crossing the border, we're happy to set their broken bones for free. "

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" Time perception is very much about how you sequence your activities, how many activities you layer overtop of others, and the types of gaps, if any, you leave in between activities. "

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" I've got all my old laptops going back to my first, which was so fancy at the time, in '93 or '94, but now it's just like a doorstop. One day I said, 'I'll go in and get all my old documents in there.' The cords and the wires are all gone, the discettes you need are gone. Meanwhile the little electrons are starting to wither away. "

Douglas Coupland

" Technology favors horrible people. "

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" Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing. "

Douglas Coupland

" Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's sort of a law of the art world: The stuff that grows in importance is only the stuff you bought because it wowed you. "

Douglas Coupland

" I grew up with three brothers, so nearly everything I had was destroyed or made fun of. "

Douglas Coupland

" The whole point of Gen X was, and continues to be, a negation of being forced into Baby Boomerdom against one's will. "

Douglas Coupland

" My house. It's kind of eccentric. It's two decades worth of accumulated personal projects. Yeah, it is pretty dense in my house. "

Douglas Coupland

" Money is more than a massively consensual IOU note. It is a piece of infrastructure and is as artificial as Interstate 5, NutraSweet or season three of 'Mad Men.' "

Douglas Coupland

" Twinkies are more natural than most TV-interview shows. "

Douglas Coupland

" I'm agoraphobic. I can't deal with crowds. "

Douglas Coupland

" The one thing about my life that's different from others is that I wake up for no one, and for some reason, that's just good for your creativity. "

Douglas Coupland

" Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. "

Douglas Coupland

" We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes. "

Douglas Coupland

" Vancouver is the square root of negative one. Technically it shouldn't exist, but it does. I can't imagine living anywhere else. "

Douglas Coupland

" Remember travel agents? Remember how they just kind of vanished one day? Well, that's where all the other jobs that once made us middle class are going, to that same magical, class-killing, job-sucking wormhole into which travel agency jobs vanished, never to return. "

Douglas Coupland

" Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations. "

Douglas Coupland

" You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog. "

Douglas Coupland

" In my mind, I've always checked out in 2037; that's always been my expiration date. I'll be 75. "

Douglas Coupland

" The Internet has destroyed irony in the world, or at least wounded it considerably. What are we to do about an invention whose end result is that starving people in China are looking up things on marthastewart.com? "

Douglas Coupland

" Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy. "

Douglas Coupland

" I don't like telephones: I don't like when they ring. Just because it rings, you have to pick it up. I don't even like opening mail; I'm weird. "

Douglas Coupland

" Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. "

Douglas Coupland

" The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member. "

Douglas Coupland

" Cellphones have, if nothing else, turned TV crime writers into lazy sloths. "

Douglas Coupland

" Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. "

Douglas Coupland