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" When I was a kid, I read the science-fiction shelves, and I read the fantasy shelves. "

Terry Pratchett

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" I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while. "

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" Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page. "

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" Journalism makes you think fast. You have to speak to people in all walks of life. Especially local journalism. "

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" Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage. "

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" It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone. "

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" I like being a writer. "

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" I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me. "

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" It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimer's, and the other was knowing I had Alzheimer's. "

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" Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. "

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" I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. "

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" When you're all singing together, it brings things together. I know the songs that my grandfather and my father sang. "

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" An author writes a book, and that's the book at that point. And if the author writes the book again, then somehow something has gone wrong, if you see what I mean. "

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" Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me about 'Wind in the Willows' and read it and I thought this is weird, Rat, Mole, Toad and my first ever Bolshie thought - you know about 'The Wind in the Willows.' "

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" In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26 years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing particularly new about this - death has featured in art and literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a fascination with the Grim Reaper. "

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" I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is. "

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" I've lost both parents in the last two years, so you pick up on that stuff. That's the most terrible thing about being an author - standing there at your mother's funeral, but you don't switch the author off. So your own innermost thoughts are grist for the mill. "

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" What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference. "

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" Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong. "

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" The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. "

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" It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. "

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" I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.' "

Terry Pratchett

" Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent. "

Terry Pratchett

" We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we have forgotten how to die. Too often we learn the hard way. As soon as the baby boomers pass pensionable age, their lesson will be harsher still. "

Terry Pratchett

" Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine. "

Terry Pratchett

" Seven hundred thousand people who have dementia in this country are not heard. I'm fortunate; I can be heard. Regrettably, it's amazing how people listen if you stand up in public and give away $1 million for research into the disease, as I have done. "

Terry Pratchett

" I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod. Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, 'If wet, in the library.' Who could say that this is bad? "

Terry Pratchett

" It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one. "

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" My own books drive themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter of joining the dots. "

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" I became a journalist at 17. A few hours later, I saw my first dead body, which was somewhat... colourful. That's when I learned you can go on throwing up after you run out of things to throw up. "

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" I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course. "

Terry Pratchett