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" Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. "

Johnny Vegas

Book

Yourself

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" I've got my finger in a lot of pies. "

" 'Johnny' was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me. "

Johnny Vegas

Acting

Always

" I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind. "

" I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears. "

" I was loved as a kid; I was raised with more love and emotional support than most folks could wish for... my memories aged nought to ten... are all bound up together in a mesh of innocence and fun. "

" I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though. "

" My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in. "

Johnny Vegas

Rings

Playing

" There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource. "

" We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves. "

" Oh, I'm terrible at travel. "

Johnny Vegas

Travel

Terrible

" When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "

" Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends. "

" Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian. "

" I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune. "

" My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with. "

" I thought I could play the hellraiser and then put 'Johnny Vegas' back in his box. I found popularity through self-destruction. The more you damage yourself, the more people are drawn to you, and that can be quite addictive. It is not a lifestyle you can maintain. "

" It can be tough as a jobbing actor. "

Johnny Vegas

Actor

Tough

" I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs. "

" In credits, I'm 'Michael' sometimes now, but people know you as something, so there's no point fighting it. 'Squiggle,' you'll always be 'Prince,' and 'The Rock,' just accept it. I want to move on, but not that much. So I'm still known as 'Johnny Vegas.' "

" I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them. "

" They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day. "

" There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I'm not sure. "

Johnny Vegas

Spiritual

You

" You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is. "

" I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is. "

" I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things. "

" We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases. "

" Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up. "

" You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am. "