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" I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs. "

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" Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends. "

" I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting. "

" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "

" Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. "

" I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show. "

" My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home. "

" You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear. "

" My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in. "

" I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough. "

" I'd never experienced stress before I did stand-up, and it was a massive shock to my system, this thing of waking up, and the nerves of, 'You're on stage tonight.' "

" I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really. "

" I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway. "

" My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!' "

" Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive. "

" You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there's nobody there. To feel like you can't go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection. "

" We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves. "

" I thought I could play the hellraiser and then put 'Johnny Vegas' back in his box. I found popularity through self-destruction. The more you damage yourself, the more people are drawn to you, and that can be quite addictive. It is not a lifestyle you can maintain. "

" Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. "

" There have been times I've finished a big job and thought, 'Great, a couple of weeks off.' But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you're staring at the phone willing it to ring. "

" I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it's enriched my life, my dad being a Catholic. "

" The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year. "

" Being behind the camera is where I feel comfortable. I've found something that I feel I, as 'Michael,' can be as confident in as 'Johnny' was on the stage. It's great being part of the creative process. You're right at the start of an idea, and you get to see it all the way through till the end. "

" I've always been looking for other people's approval. "

" I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them. "

" In credits, I'm 'Michael' sometimes now, but people know you as something, so there's no point fighting it. 'Squiggle,' you'll always be 'Prince,' and 'The Rock,' just accept it. I want to move on, but not that much. So I'm still known as 'Johnny Vegas.' "

" Oh, I'm terrible at travel. "

" I came from a very loving home, had a happy life with no great aspirations, but going to the seminary changed me. There was a chunk of my childhood missing. Once I'd realised it wasn't for me, I still felt a tremendous pressure to continue for fear of letting everybody down. "

" We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases. "