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" Writing makes everything else in my life okay; it makes everything make sense. "
Sheila Heti
Okay
Writing
Everything
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" A woman will always be made to feel like a criminal, whatever choice she makes, however hard she tries. Mothers feel like criminals. Non-mothers do, too. "
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" Raffi doesn't have any grand theories about why his music has been so successful, but he credits a group called the Babysitters as early inspiration. "
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He
Group
" I've always had individual friends, but I didn't find the people I wanted to learn from as an adult until my mid-twenties. "
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" Raffi is arguably the world's most famous children's singer. "
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World
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" Usually, you don't have commitment promises in a friendship. Usually, it just grows. "
Sheila Heti
Promises
Commitment
You
" Today, I defined 'sentimental' to myself as a feeling about the idea of a feeling. "
Sheila Heti
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Feeling
" Everyone's always telling themselves stories about their lives, writers or not. "
Sheila Heti
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Telling
Always
" We're so sure of what our unlived lives would have been like that we feel guilty for not living them - for not living up to our potential. "
Sheila Heti
Guilty
Potential
Living
" A daughter is more difficult than a rose. "
Sheila Heti
Than
Difficult
More
" My feminism is just part of my being - a part of my understanding of the world. "
Sheila Heti
World
Just
Feminism
" I'm happy that I wrote 'How Should a Person Be?' and I wouldn't have written that exact book if we had just done the play. So much of the book is about the anxiety of failure - the failure of the play and the failure of the divorce and the failure of not feeling like a good person. "
Sheila Heti
Good
Book
Anxiety
" In my experience, women who are taken seriously take themselves seriously. It's not what you wear. "
Sheila Heti
Seriously
You
Women
" Trying to live the image of the life which you have in your head... it's really hard not to do that, but I do think maybe it's cheating. "
Sheila Heti
Life
Think
Trying
" Writing plays, I've always felt a little like I'm guessing - less sure of what's good and what's not good. I think that's because it's not a complete work of art. "
Sheila Heti
Think
Work
Always
" The thing to do when you're feeling ambivalent is to wait. "
Sheila Heti
Ambivalent
Wait
You
" For me, a memoir is supposed to be understood as a representation of your life, whereas a novel is self-consciously symbolic. "
Sheila Heti
Your
Representation
Me
" Everyone has to put clothes on in the morning, and it's interesting to see how much people's personal histories come into that decision. "
Sheila Heti
People
Decision
See
" I've written about women's lives, and I just want to write about them from being a woman. I don't need feminism on top of that when I'm writing. "
Sheila Heti
Woman
Need
Women
" I didn't wander into motherhood or nonmotherhood unconsciously, recklessly. I gave it due consideration. "
Sheila Heti
Consideration
Gave
Motherhood
" I think making friends you can work with is a skill like any other, developing those particular kinds of intimacies. They're intimacies like any other, but they grow in a definite direction, not just willy-nilly like normal friendships. "
Sheila Heti
Direction
You
Work
" Few writers push the reader away with the coolness, dignity, and faint melancholy of Fleur Jaeggy. "
Sheila Heti
Push
Few
Dignity
" A line drawn with love can make us as vulnerable as what the line depicts. "
Sheila Heti
Vulnerable
Us
Make
" There's so much anxiety about being understood - and being understood through what you wear. "
Sheila Heti
Wear
Understood
Through
" I think that part of the reason I like collaboration so much is because it's something unexpected coming in, and you have to stretch yourself to absorb it. "
Sheila Heti
Yourself
Collaboration
Think
" You don't go to tarot readers or psychics when everything's going well. It's always evidence of rock-bottom. "
Sheila Heti
Always
You
Go
" An artist's love for what they create is what creates love. "
Sheila Heti
Create
Creates
Artist
" No child, through her own will, can pull a mother out of her suffering, and as an adult, I have been very busy. "
Sheila Heti
Mother
Busy
Own
" There is a kind of sadness in not wanting the things that give so many other people their life's meaning. There can be sadness at not living out a more universal story - the supposed life cycle. "
Sheila Heti
Story
Life
People
" Many of the traits in my characters are exaggerations of things I see in myself. But in 'How Should a Person Be?' I wasn't trying to write about myself so much as a combination of myself and these women I was seeing in our culture. "
Sheila Heti
Culture
Myself
Seeing
" I didn't study English literature - I studied philosophy at university - so Kierkegaard, Nietzsche - these people are among the most important writers to me. So my interest is in the big questions more than it is in storytelling. "
Sheila Heti
Important
Study
Me