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" Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' "

Rodney Dangerfield

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" If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms. "

" I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering. "

Saint Augustine

" God exists, if only in the form of a meme with high survival value, or infective power, in the environment provided by human culture. "

Richard Dawkins

" People see God every day, they just don't recognize him. "

" Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god. "

" There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way.' "

" Preaching is effective as long as the preacher expects something to happen-not because of the sermon, not even because of the preacher, but because of God. "

" God is to be worshipped as the one beloved, dearer than everything in this and next life. "

Swami Vivekananda

" God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through. "

" I will thank God for the day and the moment I have. "

" Let God's promises shine on your problems. "

Corrie Ten Boom

" In the Lord's Prayer, the first petition is for daily bread. No one can worship God or love his neighbor on an empty stomach. "

" My father always taught me that when you help other people, then God will give you double. And that's what has really happened to me. When I have helped other people who are in need, God has helped me more. "

Cristiano Ronaldo

" I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" It is a holy blessing to be born with the exquisite qualities of a daughter of God. Women of God, both old and young, are spiritual and sensitive, tender and gentle. They have a kind, nurturing nature. This is your inheritance. Never belittle the gifts God has given to you. Develop the divinity that is within you. "

Margaret D. Nadauld

" God should not be called an individual substance, since the principal of individuation is matter. "

" Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. "

" God is the perfect poet. "

Robert Browning

" I cannot think that we are useless or God would not have created us. There is one God looking down on us all. We are all the children of one God. The sun, the darkness, the winds are all listening to what we have to say. "

" I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Everything doesn't happen for a reason, if by this we mean evil is a part of God's plan. But God does ensure that evil will not prevail and that light will always, ultimately, overcome the darkness. If we follow God's lead, our work is to push back the darkness. "

" My message is to get human beings to love God, love their neighbor and for the life of me I just don't see the downside of human beings not being so mean to one another and actually care for one another and not steal from one another and not murder each other for their tennis shoes. That's the message I have. "

" Whatever your heart clings to and confides in, that is really your God. "

" Where mercy, love, and pity dwell, there God is dwelling too. "

" I found thee not, O Lord, without, because I erred in seeking thee without that wert within. "

Saint Augustine

" My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers. "

Hans Christian Andersen

" The straight line belongs to men, the curved one to God. "

" God has given us two hands - one to receive with and the other to give with. We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing. "