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" Comedy is the difference between how you see a person and how they see themselves. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life. "

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" People will always choose more money over more sex. "

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" If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure. "

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" When you think about Twitter and you think what a dumb stupid throwaway technology, and then you have the Iranian elections and it actually saves the day - you can't prejudge technologies now because they have effects you may not have intended. "

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" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "

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" I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me. "

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" Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long. "

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" You can only fall in love six times in your life. Choose wisely. "

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" I keep vampire hours, going to bed at 2 A.M. and waking up at about 10:30-11 A.M. "

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" I've become a day writer: most people start as night writers, and I used to be, but something happened to my endocrine system. I do miss the 3 A.M. writing jags. "

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" I'm a pretty good drawer. I have trouble painting because you literally have to wait for the paint to dry. I'm disciplined, but I'm not patient. "

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" I miss the reference section at the library. I used to go there twice a week on missions. Now everywhere's a research library and I can't get an elitist kick from it any more. "

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" I think Americans are weirdly puritanistic about psychopharmaceuticals. There are millions of people out there who would otherwise be dead or rocking by themselves in a corner who now lead full and normal lives because of amazing and wonderful scientific advances. "

Douglas Coupland

" Aliens didn't come down to Earth and give us technology. We invented it ourselves. Therefore it can never be alienating; it can only be an expression of our humanity. "

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" Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life. "

Douglas Coupland

" It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either. "

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" If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal. "

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" One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do. "

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" The reason the future feels odd is because of its unpredictability. If the future didn't feel weirdly unexpected, then something would be wrong. "

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" I can't switch time zones any more. London is one of my favourite places, but I'm always so zonked that I can't appreciate it. It's like a six-inch sheet of glass between me and Charing Cross Road. "

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" The way we experience history and time in all its forms shifted quite massively between 1989 and 2001 - to the point where contrivances like decades are now kind of silly. "

Douglas Coupland

" Mediums change you by their very existence. They do this on fundamental levels because they force you to favour certain parts of your brain over others. "

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" I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock. "

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" Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want. "

Douglas Coupland

" Cellphones have, if nothing else, turned TV crime writers into lazy sloths. "

Douglas Coupland

" Any passion to collect has some meaning behind it. "

Douglas Coupland

" I tend to look for pathologies everywhere. "

Douglas Coupland

" Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common. "

Douglas Coupland

" A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements. "

Douglas Coupland