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" Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. "

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" There's a domino effect with certain things you say. "

" I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers. "

" There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource. "

" When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that. "

" I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers! "

" I've been offered all the reality TV shows but have turned them down. If I did it as 'Johnny,' there'd be no jungle left! It was really hard regaining control of myself, so I am reluctant to let 'Johnny' back out of the box. "

" 'Johnny' was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset me. "

" If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it. "

" My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!' "

" I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money. "

" With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle. "

" I use very few muscles at the best of times. "

" I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up. "

" I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion. "

" I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though. "

" I've always been looking for other people's approval. "

" We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases. "

" Being behind the camera is where I feel comfortable. I've found something that I feel I, as 'Michael,' can be as confident in as 'Johnny' was on the stage. It's great being part of the creative process. You're right at the start of an idea, and you get to see it all the way through till the end. "

" I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it's enriched my life, my dad being a Catholic. "

" In credits, I'm 'Michael' sometimes now, but people know you as something, so there's no point fighting it. 'Squiggle,' you'll always be 'Prince,' and 'The Rock,' just accept it. I want to move on, but not that much. So I'm still known as 'Johnny Vegas.' "

" It's lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend. "

" I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is. "

" I'd never experienced stress before I did stand-up, and it was a massive shock to my system, this thing of waking up, and the nerves of, 'You're on stage tonight.' "

" Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out. "

" Being 'Johnny' was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I'd created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that. "

" You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. "

" It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute. "

" I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears. "