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" It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. "
Johnny Vegas
Me
Question
Love
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" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "
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" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "
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" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "
Clint Eastwood
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" I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. "
Rodney Dangerfield
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" Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. "
Caroline Rhea
" He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. "
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" The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. "
Joe E. Lewis
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" 'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs. "
Robert Vaughn
Effort
People
Life
" I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money. "
Johnny Vegas
Money
Enough
You
" I'm crazy, funny, and good looking! "
Alex Wolff
Crazy
Funny
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" To be or not to be. That's not really a question. "
Jean-Luc Godard
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" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "
Lil' Kim
You
Doing
Funny
" I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. "
Richard Lewis
Funny
Back
Trying
" I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan. "
J. K. Simmons
Well Done
Movies
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" If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another. "
Marie Helvin
Believe
Relationship
Time
" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "
Larry David
You
Bad
Think
" It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up. "
John Mulaney
Growing Up
Funny
Day
" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "
Millie Bobby Brown
Me
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Some People
" It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. "
Mae West
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You
" The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny. "
Bill Gates
Funny
Sing
Song
" It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer. "
Kevin Systrom
Photographer
Funny
Before
" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "
W. Clement Stone
Scoundrel
Cork
Funny
" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "
Carrie Fisher
True
Be True
My Life
" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "
Dana Carvey
Think
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Life
" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "
Kid Cudi
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" A rich man's joke is always funny. "
Thomas Edward Brown
Always
Funny
Joke
" I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up. "
Johnny Vegas
Positive
Interesting
Acting
" If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. "
Logan Pearsall Smith
Liar
Thought
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" Does it bother me that I'm attached to 'Three's Company' 30 years after? Not at all. All we were trying to do was be funny. How can I complain? That's all I wanted to do. "
Joyce DeWitt
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Trying
" It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. "
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Matter
Down
Fall