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" It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. "

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" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "

" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "

Abraham Lincoln

" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "

" I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. "

" He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. "

Raymond Chandler

" The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. "

" 'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs. "

" I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money. "

" I'm crazy, funny, and good looking! "

" To be or not to be. That's not really a question. "

Jean-Luc Godard

" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "

" I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. "

" I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan. "

" If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another. "

" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "

" It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. "

" The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny. "

" It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer. "

" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "

W. Clement Stone

" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "

" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "

" The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man. "

" A rich man's joke is always funny. "

Thomas Edward Brown

" I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up. "

" If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. "

Logan Pearsall Smith

" Does it bother me that I'm attached to 'Three's Company' 30 years after? Not at all. All we were trying to do was be funny. How can I complain? That's all I wanted to do. "

" It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. "

Gilbert K. Chesterton