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" With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle. "
Johnny Vegas
Chance
Fickle
Quite
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" I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though. "
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" When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that. "
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" I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive. "
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Through
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" If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it. "
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Lot
Money
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" I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money. "
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Money
Enough
You
" Being behind the camera is where I feel comfortable. I've found something that I feel I, as 'Michael,' can be as confident in as 'Johnny' was on the stage. It's great being part of the creative process. You're right at the start of an idea, and you get to see it all the way through till the end. "
Johnny Vegas
Creative
You
Start
" You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there's nobody there. To feel like you can't go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection. "
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Place
You
Sad
" I've been offered all the reality TV shows but have turned them down. If I did it as 'Johnny,' there'd be no jungle left! It was really hard regaining control of myself, so I am reluctant to let 'Johnny' back out of the box. "
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Down
Control
Reality
" I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one. "
Johnny Vegas
Myself
Call
Got
" I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage. "
Johnny Vegas
Up
Whole
Flying
" Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends. "
Johnny Vegas
Friends
Think
Out
" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "
Johnny Vegas
Live
Want
Doing
" My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!' "
Johnny Vegas
Ring
True
You
" This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute. "
Johnny Vegas
Else
Someone
Minute
" There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I'm not sure. "
Johnny Vegas
Spiritual
Us
You
" There was always that thing with 'Johnny' - I always saw myself as his writer and PR. But when he got out there, I had no control. His whole thing was going off on those flights of fancy. Going, 'Let's see what we can possibly do that hasn't been done before up here.' And when it works, it's lovely; it's a great night. "
Johnny Vegas
See
Great
Done
" I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia. "
Johnny Vegas
Like
Serious
Drama
" 'Johnny' was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset me. "
Johnny Vegas
Past
Things
Upset
" I've always been looking for other people's approval. "
Johnny Vegas
Been
Always
Looking
" If you write, produce and direct, you own things and see them through to the end. "
Johnny Vegas
Own
You
Write
" You know, there's that temptation in interviews to make yourself sound - well, to give yourself a bit of mystery. "
Johnny Vegas
Know
Temptation
Yourself
" The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. "
Johnny Vegas
Real
Me
Day
" I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home. "
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Spent
Like
Time
" You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is. "
Johnny Vegas
Hear
You
Saying
" I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion. "
Johnny Vegas
Politics
Racism
Work
" I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show. "
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Nice
Enjoy
Interesting
" I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough. "
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Doing
Me
Good
" I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune. "
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History
Clever
American
" Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. "
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Book
Yourself
Go
" I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really. "
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Television
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