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" I've been offered all the reality TV shows but have turned them down. If I did it as 'Johnny,' there'd be no jungle left! It was really hard regaining control of myself, so I am reluctant to let 'Johnny' back out of the box. "

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" There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out. "

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Fan

" I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again. "

" My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with. "

" When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that. "

" I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage. "

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Flying

" I came from a very loving home, had a happy life with no great aspirations, but going to the seminary changed me. There was a chunk of my childhood missing. Once I'd realised it wasn't for me, I still felt a tremendous pressure to continue for fear of letting everybody down. "

" Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. "

Johnny Vegas

Book

Yourself

" I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home. "

Johnny Vegas

Spent

Time

" We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves. "

" I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers! "

Johnny Vegas

You

Outside

" I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it's enriched my life, my dad being a Catholic. "

" Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian. "

" If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it. "

" It can be tough as a jobbing actor. "

Johnny Vegas

Actor

Tough

" I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune. "

" The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year. "

" I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one. "

" If you write, produce and direct, you own things and see them through to the end. "

" I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up. "

" I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind. "

" Class still matters in Britain today. "

" I couldn't be 'Johnny' in front of a camera in acting jobs and behind the camera I like to be 'Michael.' With directing, you can't do it by halves. There's a lot of reflection, and I have found that I, as 'Michael,' thrive on it. It's lovely coming home and feeling that stuff from a day's work as myself. "

" I thought I could play the hellraiser and then put 'Johnny Vegas' back in his box. I found popularity through self-destruction. The more you damage yourself, the more people are drawn to you, and that can be quite addictive. It is not a lifestyle you can maintain. "

" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "

" I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway. "

" There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource. "

" Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane. "

" I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is. "