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" It's lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend. "

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" I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers. "

" Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. "

" You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there's nobody there. To feel like you can't go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection. "

" I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them. "

" Oh, I'm terrible at travel. "

" Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up. "

" It can be tough as a jobbing actor. "

" We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases. "

" The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year. "

" You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. "

" It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. "

" I am very proud of what 'Johnny' achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physically. "

" The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. "

" I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive. "

" You know, there's that temptation in interviews to make yourself sound - well, to give yourself a bit of mystery. "

" Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric! "

" I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up. "

" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "

" I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show. "

" I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one. "

" Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane. "

" Being behind the camera is where I feel comfortable. I've found something that I feel I, as 'Michael,' can be as confident in as 'Johnny' was on the stage. It's great being part of the creative process. You're right at the start of an idea, and you get to see it all the way through till the end. "

" I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up. "

" I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things. "

" People are always asking, 'Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,' and you're going, 'It's not like that: it's blurred right across.' "

" My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home. "

" I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs. "

" I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really. "