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" Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. "

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" I played football. I played trumpet. I could draw. "

" Don't call me a journalist; I hate the word. It's pretentious! "

" The professional arsonist builds vacant lots for money. "

" Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. "

" If a man, for private profit, tears at the public news, does so with the impatience of one who thinks he actually owns the news you get, it is against the national interest. "

" I became a copy boy. Not for long. I started writing stories. "

" The first funeral for Andrew Goodman was at night and it was a lot of work. To begin with they had to kill him. "

" Newspapers are so boring. How can you read a newspaper that starts with a 51-word lead sentence? "

" I busted out of the place in a hurry and went to a saloon and drank beer and said that for the rest of my life I'd never take a job in a place where you couldn't throw cigarette butts on the floor. I was hooked on this writing for newspapers and magazines. "

" Those of Manhattan are the brokers on Wall Street and they talk of people who went to the same colleges; those from Queens are margin clerks in the back offices and they speak of friends who live in the same neighborhood. "

" The number one rule of thieves is that nothing is too small to steal. "

" Complainant received immediate lacerations of the credibility. "

" Some time ago, I made a basic decision about the way in which I was going to live the little of life available to me The idea was to place myself in the presence of only those people who give off the warm, friendly vibrations which soothe the coating on my nerves. Life never was long enough to provide time for enemies. "

" Media, the plural of mediocrity. "

" Politicians attend dinners at hotels with contractors. Bankers discuss interest rates at lunch. "

" A politician finds anything to do with racial problems far more frightening than a gun. "

" Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers. "

" You can get some work, some jobs that will bore you until you're dead. So you better look for something that's got a little tingle to it. "

" I'm the best person ever to have a column in this business. There's never been anybody in my league. "

" I don't know any other columnists, and I don't know what they do. I work the single! And nobody does what I do, anyway. "

" Speaks cheerful English and in the past has written this language with a paintbrush that talks. "

" Don't try to tell Namath's people on First Avenue about Babe Ruth, because they don't even know the name. In fact, with the young, you can forget all of baseball. The sport is gone. But if you ever have seen Ruth, and then you see Namath, you know there is very little difference. "

" Politics, where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president how to act on a public stage. "

" When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place. "