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" I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of wonder who they were and what they were. There's a guy - I don't know who he is, but he's wearing a suit. He's got his arms folded, and he looks like he sold insurance or something. I'm just wondering why someone painted him. "

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" Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Humor

People

Funny

" I was raised that you don't use something nice until there's someplace to go. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Nice

I Was Raised

" There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don't seem to have time now. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Golf

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" Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.' I'd never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I'd last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Spiritual

Mind

" It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Playing

Girl

" I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules. "

" People love their animals so much so that they put little clothes on them and necklaces and booties and things like that. And if you love your animal, then you should feed them something that's not dangerous for them. There's a lot of poisonous stuff that they're putting in a lot of that food, those by-products. "

" I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Lesbian

Vegetarian

" I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a lot; we went to open houses almost every weekend. I think that's why I always wanted a house. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Grow

Think

" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "

" I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter. "

" We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. "

" Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule. "

" People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. "

" I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it's pretty equal. I don't know why that is. It's been the same thing for a while. It's hard for female comedians to stand out. That's weird. That's a shame. "

" I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Because

Hair

" Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay. "

" I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatred that's happening, and just fight it with love and compassion. "

" Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony. "

" When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it's hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn't feel like me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Show

People

" I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes. "

" I would love for the world to be happier. "

" The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known. "

Ellen DeGeneres

Time

Tough

" I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. "

" I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy. "

" I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getting rid of stuff. I'm not crazy. I also move so that I never have to wash any windows. "

" I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the love in my life. "

" I never buy a house thinking that I'm going to sell it. "

" You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. "

" I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'm not hiding anything from them. "