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" I would love for the world to be happier. "

Ellen DeGeneres

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" Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I have an amazing team; I have amazing producers; I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it's me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-feelings honest. I'm sure if I lied about anything, it would have been silly, but I haven't retained that information. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitment that you have to stick with. And I just don't know if I can - it's too risky. Like, what if I don't like the kid? "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I've gotten to a place where I really am just settled. Really. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" A kid should be told that you can have feelings. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'm a person with compassion. I care passionately about equal rights. I care about human rights. I care about animal rights. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship - it's actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don't seem to have time now. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it's hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn't feel like me. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we're all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose... When you connect with that love and that compassion, that's when everything unfolds. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhart, by Carol Burnett, by Lucille Ball. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getting rid of stuff. I'm not crazy. I also move so that I never have to wash any windows. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Just go up to somebody on the street and say 'You're it!' and then run away. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right behind the Improv. I was renting it, and I asked the owners if I could buy it, and they were really nice and let me work out a deal. And I fixed it up and later sold it. That was when I realized that if you make some improvements, you can make money. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm a fan of people getting together. "

Ellen DeGeneres