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" I do fantasize about having my own shop one day. "

Ellen DeGeneres

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" I didn't see deep emotion from my parents. It was all very polite and very surface. I never knew how anybody was feeling. "

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" I never buy a house thinking that I'm going to sell it. "

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" The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself. "

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" I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. "

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" I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals. "

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" I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitment that you have to stick with. And I just don't know if I can - it's too risky. Like, what if I don't like the kid? "

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" Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. "

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" I was raised that you don't use something nice until there's someplace to go. "

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" I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes. "

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" I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy. "

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" The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they're unique. "

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" Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m. "

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" It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that's what I know for sure... I think. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me. "

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" People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don't eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.' I'd never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I'd last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things. "

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" We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Designing is my hobby. If I didn't do what I do for a living - at some point when I don't do this for a living - I'll probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture. "

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" My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. There was no drinking, smoking or cursing. "

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" The truth is - and this is corny - I fall more in love with Portia all the time. I really do. She surprises me all the time. "

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" Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. "

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" I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart. "

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" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "

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" I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms. "

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" The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhart, by Carol Burnett, by Lucille Ball. "

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" I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that's ever happened to me has taught me compassion. "

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" I was raised in an atmosphere of 'everything's fine.' But as I got older, I was like, 'Well no, everything's not fine. There is stuff that's sad.' I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes. "

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