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" When I was five, I compound-fractured my arm, pulverising my elbow. "

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" In New York, you collect a thousand encounters a year, a passel of handshakes, a zillion air-kisses, and boatloads of business cards that you pitch into your purse and eventually deposit your chewing gum into. Amid this break-neck montage of glancing contacts, I'm tormented by the constant thrumming fear of being fingered as a flake. "

" Never post anything personal to your Facebook wall. Or anyone else's, for that matter. Only snitches and teachers look at Facebook. "

" Never post food on your Instagram. Nobody cares, and only old people do it. "

" LaCroix sparkling water is absolutely delicious. "

" I have a lot of respect for people who write a whole book because I've heard it will kill you. "

" Home is where my house pants live. And they're hideous. "

" Privateers, military contractors - these aren't pirates. They have bosses. Real pirates are sellswords on missions of their own making. "

" I find texting to be kind of a safe space. "

" I do not care for musicals. In fact, I hate them. "

" If there was a button that I could push that would agog my brain to the level that I felt first seeing 'Avatar' in its entirety and another one for food pellets, I would die of starvation. "

" The thing about living in New York as a writer is that you hit that age where it feels like everyone has a book all at the same time. It's like that one year where you're invited to twenty weddings. "

" Your mom is the first person you fall in love with, so it's loaded forever and carries all this baggage. There's almost always a communication barrier in place. In my case it's a language and cultural barrier, but other times, it's because your mother's love is conditional or because you're fundamentally different. "

" I am anti-Halloween. "

" I love my mother a not-normal amount. "

" As a consumer, I love superheroes. "

" You are overwhelmed, overscheduled, and dejected because you keep trying to have it all - or at least most of it. You want a fulfilling job and personal life, and it's not working. The way out? Work more. "

" You always feel like a hack and a fraud when you're writing. It's just how it goes. "

" Nothing is more untoward than a grown man tasking another with snapping a pic expressly so he can 'flex the 'fit.' It's tacky -self-aggrandizing - and speaks to an existential neediness typically reserved for failed actresses and phenomenally successful rappers. "

" Home is where I climb out of my mecha-suit-of-a-poised-persona and power down. "

" I'm just going to write whatever I'm going to write, and whatever shelf or section they end up on at the bookstore is just going to be that, and I'll let the marketing people pull their hair out and worry about it. "

" Rihanna's boots are too scared to look bad on Rihanna. "

" I've always been a texting advocate. "

" Twenty-thirteen was the year I got super into SoulCycle. "

" Never hold up your entire group of friends in real life trying to capture a perfect Instagram pose. Nobody cares. "

" My mom is an excellent mom. She knows I am irascible, prickly, and antisocial. She knows that most human interaction makes me tired and that I either scare people away with precise invectives or trot out the fakest, nicest skinjob of myself because it requires zero effort. "

" Manhattan, after eight years here, still reminds me of Hong Kong. There are parts of Chinatown that are the spit and image of streets in Wan Chai, and I am held in thrall by the Chrysler building as much as I was by I.M. Pei's Bank of China Tower. "

" Teens are strange and magical. "

" Have passion, yes, but acknowledge that side projects are still work. They shake things up, just like switching up your workout helps you stay one step ahead of your torpid metabolism. They scramble the synapses. "

" Food rules. Little rivals the pleasure of tearing into a glistening burger. "

" Pedicures are disgraceful. "