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" I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh. "

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" Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship - and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that. "

" I had slumps that lasted into the winter. "

" On TV the people can see it. On radio you've got to create it. "

" When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes. "

" Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times. "

" The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up. "

" If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter. "

" Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets. "

" I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff. "

" I was acting when I was playing baseball. "

" Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word? "

" Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist. "

" Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard. "

" I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once. "

" I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy. "

" I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly. "

" Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products. "

" I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though. "

" After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else. "

" You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year... unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time. "

" I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment. "

" I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes. "

" In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs. "

" Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat. "

" We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from 'Mr. Belvedere,' too. We stay in touch. "

" Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball? "

" When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me. "

" I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade. "

" How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up. "

" I used to soak my mitts in a bucket of water for about two days. Then I'd put a couple of baseballs in the pocket and wrap it up with a rubber band. Today you don't have to do that, because catchers' mitts are more like first baseman's gloves. "