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" I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though. "

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" I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase. "

" Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat. "

" Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball? "

" In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs. "

" Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word? "

" I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture. "

" Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times. "

" I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes. "

" We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from 'Mr. Belvedere,' too. We stay in touch. "

" Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do. "

" If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter. "

" Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products. "

" How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up. "

" I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff. "

" Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship - and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that. "

" The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud. "

" I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade. "

" The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up. "

" You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team. "

" After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else. "

" I was acting when I was playing baseball. "

" I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh. "

" Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets. "

" I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment. "

" When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me. "

" I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly. "

" I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed. "

" On TV the people can see it. On radio you've got to create it. "

" Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate. I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend. "

" I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy. "