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" I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff. "

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" When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes. "

" I used to soak my mitts in a bucket of water for about two days. Then I'd put a couple of baseballs in the pocket and wrap it up with a rubber band. Today you don't have to do that, because catchers' mitts are more like first baseman's gloves. "

" The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up. "

" Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word? "

" I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly. "

" I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out. "

" When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me. "

" Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship - and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that. "

" Phil Niekro and his brother were pitching against each other in Atlanta. Their parents were sitting right behind home plate. I saw their folks more that day than they did the whole weekend. "

" Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat. "

" I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes. "

" I had slumps that lasted into the winter. "

" The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud. "

" People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, how long a dozen bats would last me. Depending on the weight and model I was using at that time - I would say eight to 10 cookouts. "

" Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard. "

" You throw batting practice, you warm up pitchers, you sit and cheer. You do whatever you have to do to stay on the team. "

" I spent three of the best years of my life in 10th grade. "

" If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter. "

" I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh. "

" I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though. "

" I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture. "

" I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment. "

" I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once. "

" I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed. "

" Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products. "

" Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets. "

" After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else. "

" How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up. "

" Where would I be without baseball? Who am I without baseball? "

" I was acting when I was playing baseball. "