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" I did 'The Frank Skinner Show,' and they gave me a little jukebox-shaped CD player, which looks nice in the kitchen. "
Robert Webb
Little
Kitchen
Show
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" I can't imagine getting bored with comedy or thinking comedy is beneath us suddenly. "
Robert Webb
Imagine
Us
Thinking
" My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. "
Robert Webb
Kiss
Her
Birthday
" Very bad things follow when we kid ourselves that we're naturally rational, rather than the more humbling truth: naturally emotional. "
Robert Webb
More
Bad
Emotional
" Like most men, I can't say I am thrilled my hair's falling out, but then, if I really cared, I suppose I would wear a wig, get transplants, or start taking special pills, so I am obviously just putting up with it. "
Robert Webb
Start
Special
Men
" My parents' marriage was already shaky when I came along. They split up when I was five, and I didn't see Dad all that often after that - four or five times a year. "
Robert Webb
Year
Along
Marriage
" When I look in the mirror, I see the ageing process at full pelt, the hairline in retreat, the bags under the eyes growing and darkening, that kind of thing. I suppose it would be easier if I weren't an actor, but I am fairly philosophical about it. "
Robert Webb
Kind
Mirror
Process
" I'm good at finding things to do on my own, even if it's just reading. "
Robert Webb
Reading
Good
My Own
" Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of 'thinker', with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won't really do. "
Robert Webb
Student
Professional
People
" When I present those clip shows and movie mistakes and things, the persona the writers adopt for me is unimpressed, superior, very sarcastic - I'm not any of that. I can do it, but that's not what I'm like. "
Robert Webb
Present
Me
Mistakes
" If I told my 18-year-old self that one day I'd have a sitcom and a sketch show on TV, I think he'd just drum his fingers and go, 'When? How long is that going to take?' "
Robert Webb
Sketch
Think
Self
" If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That's the thing about being basically - whisper it quietly - happy, is that you don't really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you've got all disappears. "
Robert Webb
You
Change
Comedy
" I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it. "
Robert Webb
Funny
You
Say
" We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. "
Robert Webb
Step
People
Gender
" My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig's ear of retaking my A-levels. "
Robert Webb
Make
Pig
Dad
" I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can't. "
Robert Webb
Jokes
I Think
Drama
" Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege. "
Robert Webb
Day
Time
Live
" Ed Miliband is obviously a mild guy. I don't expect him to pretend to be a pugilist. "
Robert Webb
Obviously
Expect
Pretend
" I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room. "
Robert Webb
Tea
School
Dinner
" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "
Robert Webb
Important
Hate
People
" I suppose if I went to Turkey - I mean, I can't imagine going that far away, but if I did go to Turkey, yes, I would probably try to know 'please' and 'sorry' and 'thank you', and 'a beer please', and all the useful words. "
Robert Webb
Sorry
Thank You
You
" Basically I try not to knock other comedians. "
Robert Webb
Comedians
Knock
Try
" Labour is at its best when it remembers its moral fury. "
Robert Webb
Fury
Remembers
Moral
" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "
Robert Webb
Intellectual
Wrong
Vulgar
" I'm the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch. "
Robert Webb
Who
Window
Staring
" I've been sort of coasting on 'Peep Show.' So now it's kind of, 'When I grow up, I'm going to have to be an actor if I'm not careful.' "
Robert Webb
Grow Up
Grow
Actor
" It was quite an honour when 'New Woman' magazine voted me 88th sexiest man in the world. I think I was one in front of David Cameron. "
Robert Webb
Woman
Think
Me
" On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that. "
Robert Webb
Looking
Phone
Life
" We got our revolution out of the way long before the French and the Americans. The monarchy was restored, but the sovereignty of our parliament, made up of and elected by a slowly widening constituency of the people, has never been seriously challenged since then. "
Robert Webb
Revolution
People
Long
" We call ourselves comedy writer-performers, and that encompasses everything, and I certainly have a very open mind about it. "
Robert Webb
Open Mind
Comedy
Everything
" It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians. "
Robert Webb
Some
Scared
Odd