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" I'm good at finding things to do on my own, even if it's just reading. "
Robert Webb
Reading
Good
My Own
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" We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. "
Robert Webb
Step
People
Gender
" I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all. "
Robert Webb
Doctor
Two People
Hearts
" I was the youngest of three brothers by five years, so I spent most of my childhood playing alone, being Zorro or some other superhero, doing Lego, watching telly and riding my bike. "
Robert Webb
Doing
Three
Childhood
" I can't imagine getting bored with comedy or thinking comedy is beneath us suddenly. "
Robert Webb
Imagine
Us
Thinking
" The female characters in 'Peep Show' are not 'strong': they are idiots. As idiotic as the men. "
Robert Webb
Strong
Men
Idiots
" It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians. "
Robert Webb
Some
Scared
Odd
" I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can't. "
Robert Webb
Jokes
I Think
Drama
" Basically I try not to knock other comedians. "
Robert Webb
Comedians
Knock
Try
" Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots. "
Robert Webb
You
Idiot
Missing
" When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened. "
Robert Webb
Up
Right
Head
" Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of 'thinker', with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won't really do. "
Robert Webb
Student
Professional
People
" When the Mac ad campaign was in full swing, I quickened my pace as I went past certain bus stops. My wife told me that she loyally took a piece of chewing gum off my nose once. "
Robert Webb
Past
Swing
She
" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "
Robert Webb
Important
Hate
People
" My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. "
Robert Webb
Kiss
Her
Birthday
" When I was 15, if Stephen Fry had advised me to trim my eyebrows with a Flymo, I would have given it serious consideration. "
Robert Webb
Eyebrows
Me
Serious
" Labour is at its best when it remembers its moral fury. "
Robert Webb
Fury
Remembers
Moral
" My childhood was as heavily gendered as any you would find in a working-class household in Lincolnshire. "
Robert Webb
Working-Class
Childhood
Any
" My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig's ear of retaking my A-levels. "
Robert Webb
Make
Pig
Dad
" Car-essential is a real turn-off to me, so yeah, I just want a friendly holiday resort with a villa and a pool, but which is really private, but there again, there's a supermarket and a doctor's and a beach a five-minute walk away. That's all I want, and it's quite difficult to find. "
Robert Webb
Walk
Beach
Doctor
" No, feminism isn't 'over.' We need it not only to challenge injustice but because the whole gender expectations thing is bad for men, too. "
Robert Webb
Men
Bad
Challenge
" Mum was an amazing parent and my best pal. The tragedy of it, really, was that she died from breast cancer just as I was becoming a man, aged 17, and we were just starting to speak as adults. She was snatched away, and it felt cruel. She made me laugh. "
Robert Webb
Breast Cancer
Amazing
Best
" I proposed to my wife on Brighton Beach, and she said yes. That's pretty romantic. Even though I forgot to go down on one knee because I was too busy trying to compose the question. "
Robert Webb
Trying
Romantic
Busy
" I don't really have that much contact with Americans. I mean, I see the oddest things on the Internet, I suppose. And I've got a couple of American friends, but they are Anglophiles anyway because they've decided to come live here. "
Robert Webb
Live
See
Internet
" My parents' marriage was already shaky when I came along. They split up when I was five, and I didn't see Dad all that often after that - four or five times a year. "
Robert Webb
Year
Along
Marriage
" On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that. "
Robert Webb
Looking
Phone
Life
" We call ourselves comedy writer-performers, and that encompasses everything, and I certainly have a very open mind about it. "
Robert Webb
Open Mind
Comedy
Everything
" I was in the play 'Fat Pig in the West End,' which is a comedy but has dramatic moments. "
Robert Webb
Pig
Play
Comedy
" I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning. "
Robert Webb
Up
Children
Me
" Very bad things follow when we kid ourselves that we're naturally rational, rather than the more humbling truth: naturally emotional. "
Robert Webb
More
Bad
Emotional
" I'm a huge, huge fan of Chris Morris. I think he's a genius, and it is not a word I use very often. I think he's fantastic. "
Robert Webb
Genius
I Think
Fan