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" Home is where I climb out of my mecha-suit-of-a-poised-persona and power down. "

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" I would never give up 'The Wire,' 'Breaking Bad,' and 'Game of Thrones.' I'm grateful for all these expensive, excellent, graphically ambitious programs. "

" I have horrible shoe hang-ups. Particularly when it comes to flats. "

" I'm just going to write whatever I'm going to write, and whatever shelf or section they end up on at the bookstore is just going to be that, and I'll let the marketing people pull their hair out and worry about it. "

" Pedicures are disgraceful. "

" When I moved to New York City from Texas at 22, amateur hour was over. As a newly grown-up person, I vowed I would wear dresses and skirts, wool trousers occasionally, and heels always. "

" If you can relate to what another person is going through while giving their experience room to be its own discrete thing, you're probably a crackerjack emergency contact. "

" People bursting into song in unison and then pointing it at me is maybe the worst thing I can think of, never mind that you have to pay good money to go be yelled/danced at. "

" Food rules. Little rivals the pleasure of tearing into a glistening burger. "

" Never post boring back-to-back selfies. "

" Do you know why we pay trainers and nutritionists? Because having to muster interest in the minor successes of someone else's journey toward pedestrian-ass healthiness is taxing and should be compensated. "

" Join a Bikram-flow-yoga, Flywheel, or Pilates class so you can find spiritual oneness amid grunting socialite moms. Do whatever you want. Just, please, for the love of God, stop talking about it. "

" Learning to ride a bike in a public park means anyone can see you. "

" The first time I drank LaCroix, I half expected it to be filled with self-tanner. Or Axe body spray. "

" My sweet spot as a writer and, especially, as an essayist is sub-1500 words. "

" Everyone is such a mystery, yet we chug along so much of the time presuming we're all on the same page. "

" The thing that I find interesting about teens now is that no matter how desperate we seem to be taxonomically 'othering' them, for one reason or another - because the Internet, because whatever - I feel like a lot of the benchmarks and the experiences are, you know, same for teens through time immemorial. "

" Yes, Justin Bieber is a contrivance. Yes, Justin Bieber's lyrics are insipid - worse still, disingenuous. Yes, his tattoos stink. Yes, he's lousy at skateboarding. But what does any of this actually matter? In case you missed it, Bieber won. "

" I cannot quantify the physics of friendships and do not know exactly how much intense pressure can be applied before these glittery, brittle bonds break. "

" Instagram is not a place for tone or irony. "

" From the first time I harangued my mother into buying me a pair of platform sandals at the irascible and persistent age of 11, I've worn heels. "

" I love small-business owners, and I actually love the idea of vintage clothing, but I don't get when they pretend that the Internet doesn't exist or that other customers have never been to the whole rest of the country where you can rummage around and buy the same dang belt for a buck and a half. "

" Nothing is more untoward than a grown man tasking another with snapping a pic expressly so he can 'flex the 'fit.' It's tacky -self-aggrandizing - and speaks to an existential neediness typically reserved for failed actresses and phenomenally successful rappers. "

" Bieber has taste and pull, which is as important to making quality pop as actual talent. "

" I'm a big believer in puking out all your thoughts in a single sitting and getting some version of the work down, because the alternative just prolongs the agony. The first draft is hideous and ajskdlkdfksjdfslfjk, but it's just a map for where the big blocks go. "

" I've always been a texting advocate. "

" Nothing beats SoulCycle for dumbing all the way out or re-calibrating a mood in less than an hour, which is reassuring, since I typically wake up in a panic that's candy-coated with a low-grade rage. "

" I love how British people call Asian people 'oriental' unless they're talking about Indian people, who get to be called Asian. "

" Never post anything personal to your Facebook wall. Or anyone else's, for that matter. Only snitches and teachers look at Facebook. "

" You are overwhelmed, overscheduled, and dejected because you keep trying to have it all - or at least most of it. You want a fulfilling job and personal life, and it's not working. The way out? Work more. "

" Texting is incredibly anxiety-laden, but I know people who will have a full-blown panic attack if you call them. I'm one of those nightmare humans where the little mailbox has an ellipsis on it because I have 1000 unread emails. So texting is the most immediate yet least anxious of all the incredibly anxious ways that we talk to each other. "