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" I don't do much lying in real life because I don't get away with it. "

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" I proposed to my wife on Brighton Beach, and she said yes. That's pretty romantic. Even though I forgot to go down on one knee because I was too busy trying to compose the question. "

" I am a feminist. I don't especially care for the term, but there it is. "

" I'm good at finding things to do on my own, even if it's just reading. "

" My childhood was as heavily gendered as any you would find in a working-class household in Lincolnshire. "

" Car-essential is a real turn-off to me, so yeah, I just want a friendly holiday resort with a villa and a pool, but which is really private, but there again, there's a supermarket and a doctor's and a beach a five-minute walk away. That's all I want, and it's quite difficult to find. "

" Very bad things follow when we kid ourselves that we're naturally rational, rather than the more humbling truth: naturally emotional. "

" We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. "

" I had a friend at college who took being poor very personally. He started showering in the sports centre next door and said he wasn't going to pay for the hot water in our flat any more because he didn't use it. He made me and my other friend pay the bills on our own. "

" Feminism is an attack on social practices and habits of thought that keep women and men boxed into gender roles that are harmful. "

" UKIP trades in the language of fear and division; it seeks power in order to reject responsibility. "

" It should go without saying that there are as many working-class people who hold socially liberal views as there are public-school bigots. "

" On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that. "

" To do comedy, you have to be a pretty good actor to start with. "

" Religion is many things, but one of them, surely, is a way for adults to indulge in uncritical hero worship. "

" The strength of 'Peep Show' has always been that that it's quite traditional, but it's obviously presented in a very new way. "

" Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots. "

" I spend far too much on taxis. Now, if anyone suggests we get the Tube I say, 'The Tube! I'd forgotten about that.' "

" I've been sort of coasting on 'Peep Show.' So now it's kind of, 'When I grow up, I'm going to have to be an actor if I'm not careful.' "

" Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege. "

" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "

" Slow, skinny, and an utter countryside coward: I lived in dread of nettles, spiders, and the very sound of a wasp. As a victim, I was beneath the dignity of the bullies in my year but fair game to the ones in the year below. "

" I did 'The Frank Skinner Show,' and they gave me a little jukebox-shaped CD player, which looks nice in the kitchen. "

" I suppose if I went to Turkey - I mean, I can't imagine going that far away, but if I did go to Turkey, yes, I would probably try to know 'please' and 'sorry' and 'thank you', and 'a beer please', and all the useful words. "

" I was an usher at the Lyric Theatre Hammersmith. You had to watch whatever play they had on 40 times. "

" One thing about the fantasy dinner party idea that no one considers is whether these people are going to get on. I would say John McEnroe and Ian McEwan, but what would they have to say to each other? "

" My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. "

" I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all. "

" A waiter at the hotel kept telling me that Cape Town is just like a European city, but it's not like that at all. It doesn't feel safe, and I didn't really go out at night. "

" I think of myself as naturally idle. The trouble is, the 'nothing' that I do every day is not really nothing. I potter. I muck about with emails, I make coffee, I fiddle with my computer to make sure that the book I haven't started writing is perfectly synced across all platforms and devices. "

" There was a lot of terrible, terrible comedy in the seventies along with 'Fawlty Towers.' It's easy to forget. "