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" I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity. "

Garry Shandling

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" I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents' influence on me. I've talked to a therapist,; I've looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it seems to come down to is that I'm a Sagittarius. Please don't make me reveal more than that. It's tough enough as it is. "

Garry Shandling

" I don't think I'm severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong personal beliefs. I think America is dancing on thin ice. But I think it's bigger even than a political issue. I wonder about the evolution of the human race and spirit and what our goals and reasons for living are. "

Garry Shandling

" My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak? "

Garry Shandling

" To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even see them because of the lights. And yet you have to manage to start talking and be funny on top of it. "

Garry Shandling

" I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. "

Garry Shandling

" Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. "

Garry Shandling

" Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship. "

Garry Shandling

" Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think? "

Garry Shandling

" Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. "

Garry Shandling

" I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. "

Garry Shandling

" I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green. "

Garry Shandling

" I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. "

Garry Shandling

" First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on. "

Garry Shandling

" I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. "

Garry Shandling

" I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn't have enough confidence to use a pen. "

Garry Shandling

" Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. "

Garry Shandling

" I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session. "

Garry Shandling

" I started boxing for exercise, and on the very first day, the trainer got in the ring with me and said, 'Whoever controls the breathing in the ring controls the fight.' I immediately passed out. "

Garry Shandling

" Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. "

Garry Shandling

" My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. "

Garry Shandling

" Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. "

Garry Shandling

" I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other one called 'Stop Hitting Me.' "

Garry Shandling

" I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large. "

Garry Shandling

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

Garry Shandling

" I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out. "

Garry Shandling

" I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. "

Garry Shandling

" I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills. "

Garry Shandling

" Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? "

Garry Shandling

" Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. "

Garry Shandling

" I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. "

Garry Shandling