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" I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session. "

Garry Shandling

Turtle

Moving

Reality

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" Men who betray women also betray other men. Women shouldn't feel so special. "

" I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two. "

" I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out. "

" I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. "

" My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak? "

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

" Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with. "

Garry Shandling

Hurt

Need

" I practice safe sex - I use an airbag. "

" Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. "

" Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. "

Garry Shandling

Nobody

Jokes

" It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside. "

" I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills. "

" I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much. "

" Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. "

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

" Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship. "

" I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest. "

Garry Shandling

Happiest

Going

" I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer. "

" I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity. "

" Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. "

" The art of boxing is seeing spaces and being able to take shots. The hitting and being hit have to become one. Your reactions have to be so in the moment. There's no time to think. "

" I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn't have enough confidence to use a pen. "

" Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. "

" My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. "

" My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to do is see if I can write comedy.' ... I moved to L.A. stone cold. Didn't know anybody; didn't know how to go about it. Really started from scratch. "

" I've always felt that the truth is in the silence. "

" Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think? "

Garry Shandling

Think

Reflection

" Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist. "

" The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show. "

" I'm proud of Larry Sanders and proud of every single person who went on that journey. It's a very special show to me, and I've learned a lot of lessons from it. I need to find something where I can learn some more lessons, and then I'll do that project. "