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" I'd love to have Burt Reynolds' career. "

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" I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they're kind of aging, and the one guy had dyed blonde hair with black roots, and... my idea was to get a little earring, I wanted to have a dangling earring. "

" How can we say any one actor's work was better than another's? "

" It's not a bad typecast: the goofy guy. "

" It's more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can't prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off. "

" I love San Francisco! "

" All America is familiar with the Yankee-Dodger-Giant trivia, but so many other teams had great moments. "

" I guess if you're a professional mascot, you're doing it for the money, but a college mascot just wants to be out there. "

" With improv or a full length play - you know how you go to a theater, and after 10 minutes you say, 'Oh, I don't like this thing,' but you don't want to get up and leave? At a sketch show, it's always something new every few minutes. "

" I love sketch; it's my favorite form. But if it's all improv, they're either very good, and it's annoying how good they are, and it makes you feel bad, or they're not too good; then you're sweating for them. "

" I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, 'Do not exit here.' If you go past it, you'll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn't be said. I've probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime. "

" My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches. "

" Cleveland is my hometown, and the Indians have a narrow but rich history. "

" I've never crossed over to be a big star. I'd like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. 'Cause I was in an 'Austin Powers,' I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie. "

" As an actor, and as you get to a certain level... and it's pilot season and you read the trades, you could have a nervous breakdown. 'So-and-so's signed for a pilot. Why aren't I?' "

" To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000. "

" Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. "

" In most cities, it doesn't cost much to put your own show on a local access channel, so you get all sorts of strange stuff on the air. "

" Getting those parts in the Christopher Guest movies was the second biggest helper to my career after 'Fernwood.' "

" My father passed away when I was 12, so it was very difficult. But I was always the class clown. I don't know why - maybe as an escape. But then I was sent away to military prep school. "

" Christopher Guest, he'll call and say, 'We're doing this movie, and I'd like you to play _' and he gives you the character, then I always like to enlarge on the character. "

" I like to play the guy that has no self-awareness. "

" I had just done a movie called 'How to Beat the High Cost of Living,' and it didn't get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for 'Airplane!' for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, 'I don't like this kind of comedy.' "

" I've found over the years that for some reason, people either are big fans and have to use me, or they don't quite understand what I'm doing. "

" Kids can relate to having some scary person living near their house. They can relate to, 'Hey, don't go near that house.' We all can. "

" Martin Landau in 'Crimes and Misdemeanors' - he gave me chills. "

" Because I started my career in improv, performing with Second City and the Ace Trucking Company, I always enjoy being in situations where - as an actor - you have to think fast & be light on your feet. "

" I was an only child. "

" I just admire everybody and sit in awe and watch them. "

" Tobe Hooper - he did my favorite horror movie, 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre.' It's still one of my favorite horror films. "

" I never think I'm old enough to play someone's dad, even though I have a daughter of my own and a grandson. "