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" I hate belongings. I hate clutter. It really bothers me because I can't think properly. If you've got distractions in front of you, your mind goes nuts. "
Simon Cowell
Mind
Me
You
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" Would I like kids? If I knew I could be - and how could I put this delicately - faithful, then yes. I do like kids. "
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" If I was gay, why wouldn't I admit it? It wouldn't harm me. "
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" The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes. "
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" If I go into a relationship with an artist, which at most is going to last five years, we have a 100-page contract covering every eventuality. Whereas with marriage you go into it with no contract, with laws that date back hundreds of years, and I don't think that's right. "
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" Thank God kids love following an artist. When you get a group who pop, it's the best thing in the world. "
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" Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I'm bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I'm thinking to myself, 'If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,' and then I start laughing and I can't stop. "
Simon Cowell
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" I've spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on the very best security and I can assure you my homes are as safe as the Bank of England. "
Simon Cowell
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" When I was young and we got caught pinching apples, we got a smack from the local policeman. Today if that happened he would be sued. There is a tendency to punish the victim, not the criminal. If someone broke into my house or my mum's house, I worry that the burglar has more rights than me. "
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" We have hated the French for years. Now you have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable. "
Simon Cowell
Just
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" It's not my habit to kiss and tell. I've never done it. "
Simon Cowell
Never
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" I hated school, but I love work. "
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Hated
I Love
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" I think of stress as the creator of cancer and heart attacks, like a tiny little ball you feed. I believe that one of the reasons I've never got ill is that I'm not stressed. "
Simon Cowell
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" It's the government's job to encourage entrepreneurialism and investment. Most importantly, it's the government's duty to inspire confidence. "
Simon Cowell
Job
Inspire
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" Holding auditions in front of an audience is testing. "
Simon Cowell
Testing
Audience
Front
" Rules equal boredom, and I don't like that. "
Simon Cowell
Boredom
Like
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" There was nothing I could - and wanted to - learn in school. It was just a complete waste of my time. "
Simon Cowell
Nothing
School
Time
" I think if you're an unhappy person, you're always going to be an unhappy person. You're probably going to be less unhappy if your business is doing well, if I'm being honest. "
Simon Cowell
Doing
You
Business
" I suggest we bring some normality back to this country and say if you are carrying a knife, there must be zero tolerance. If it was up to me, everyone caught with a knife would get an automatic ten year sentence. "
Simon Cowell
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Country
" There's no need for me to get married. I live with someone; we're happy; end of story. "
Simon Cowell
Need
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Me
" I still put punctuation in my texts. If it's an 'I', I make sure it's a capital. "
Simon Cowell
Still
Punctuation
Make
" You don't go into anything contemplating failure, because if you did, you wouldn't make it. "
Simon Cowell
Did
Failure
Because
" The only people with power today are the audience. And that is increasing with Twitter, Facebook, and everything else. We cater to their likes and dislikes, and you ignore that at your peril. "
Simon Cowell
Only
You
Today
" I was 12 years old when I first realized that food could be hot. That's why I turned out the way I am. "
Simon Cowell
Food
Hot
Why
" Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator. "
Simon Cowell
Dress
Your
You
" I get very anti-social, depressed and irritable with people. I don't have time for them. I can't make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days. "
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Time
My Own
Own
" I love TV. I love being behind the scenes on a TV show but there's something about, I don't know there's something very special when you've signed an artist and that first record comes in and it's a good record. It is an indescribable feeling. "
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Artist
Feeling
Know
" The love I have for my ex-girlfriends will always be there, so I think that's true love. "
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True
Think
Always
" My dad said to me, 'Work hard and be patient.' It was the best advice he ever gave me. You have to put the hours in. "
Simon Cowell
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" I got good advice once. Someone said to me: 'Live in your money rather than look at it.' "
Simon Cowell
Live
Look
Good
" People confuse ego, lust, insecurity with true love. "
Simon Cowell
Insecurity
Ego
Love