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" We don't have friends, so we watch 'Friends' on TV. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat? "

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" Fiction is no longer the dominant storytelling device of our time. In the 19th century it worked great, and fiction was the king, but it's not the king any more. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My writing process isn't a very organized thing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My favorite books to give or get are short story collections. And always paperbacks because they are easy to carry as you travel. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" In books, you can just wallow in dialogue, and you can just wallow in written words. In screenplays, every line has to serve the purpose of the line that's implied before it and the line that's implied after it. Maybe five lines have to do the work of fifty lines. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The folks who read my books are so passionate about each one of them that the people making my movies are more afraid of my readership than they are of me. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If anything I try to write something that would be more difficult to film. I tend to see film as competition and would like instead to do what books do best. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I like to get people moving and jumping. I think it's good to add more emotion and chaos. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I live by fallacy. 'If I get enough nice Ikea furniture, I'll be a grown-up.' Then I catch myself. Or, 'If I get off by myself, away from the stress of modern life, I'll be OK.' Then I catch myself. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Nobody's told me anything to date that I've been completely reviled by. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" There's a moment in every book when the book turns and it surprises me. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I am enormously uncool. I've made a cottage industry of being uncool. And I'm fine with that. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I've always been very curious about fringe cultures where people temporarily adopt a different social model or way of presenting themselves. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Discovering the 'impossible' ending to a new book makes me sick with joy and relief. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Every woman is just a different kind of problem. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We're so much more likely to feel sympathy for an animal than another person; thus, the best fiction uses animals to define truly humane behavior. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When I visit my brother in South Africa, I order things I've only seen in zoos. Little deers and kudu, all the mammals you would never think of eating. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The young men, they look to me for a story they can get nowhere else, a challenging risky story. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If nothing else, there's comfort in recognising that no matter how much we fail and sin, death will limit our suffering. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The first step to eternal life is you have to die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I just don't want to die without a few scars. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion - painting, writing, music. People seem less status-conscious. Even wealthy people buy second-hand clothes and look a little bit homeless. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When the 'Fight Club' movie was going into production, I quit my job so I could write full-time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The answer is there is no answer. "

Chuck Palahniuk