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" When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that. "

Terry Pratchett

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" I don't really plan. I'm almost intuitive about things. "

Terry Pratchett

" It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing. "

Terry Pratchett

" I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I'd lay my cards down on that, and say that it's that that I'm trying to do. "

Terry Pratchett

" I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. "

Terry Pratchett

" An author writes a book, and that's the book at that point. And if the author writes the book again, then somehow something has gone wrong, if you see what I mean. "

Terry Pratchett

" I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal any kind of forces I could against this wretched disease. I have posterior cortical atrophy or PCA. They say, rather ingenuously, that if you have Alzheimer's it's the best form of Alzheimer's to have. "

Terry Pratchett

" In all seriousness, people think that it's the ideas that are important. Well, everyone has ideas, all the time. I tend to write mine down and remember them, but at some point you have to apply the bum to the seat and knock out about sixty five thousand words - that's how long a novel is. "

Terry Pratchett

" This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. "

Terry Pratchett

" The harder I work, the luckier I become. "

Terry Pratchett

" 'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger. "

Terry Pratchett

" Truthfully, without over-egging it, as I often do, the library and journalism, those things made me who I am. "

Terry Pratchett

" Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon. "

Terry Pratchett

" There is a soak-the-rich attitude in the air, a feeling that if you have a lot of money you must have got it by some ghastly means. I can quite happily say there was never any family money. All the money we got was mine, just from writing books. "

Terry Pratchett

" I like writing. I get cranky when I can't. Yes, I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them. "

Terry Pratchett

" Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. "

Terry Pratchett

" Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. "

Terry Pratchett

" You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look. "

Terry Pratchett

" I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. "

Terry Pratchett

" Seven hundred thousand people who have dementia in this country are not heard. I'm fortunate; I can be heard. Regrettably, it's amazing how people listen if you stand up in public and give away $1 million for research into the disease, as I have done. "

Terry Pratchett

" There are things around, and I know where they can be got quite easily, but I quite like waking up to the sunshine. "

Terry Pratchett

" 'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so. "

Terry Pratchett

" Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces. "

Terry Pratchett

" Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds. "

Terry Pratchett

" The ideal death, I think, is what was the ideal Victorian death, you know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop. "

Terry Pratchett

" Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. "

Terry Pratchett

" Fantasy is uni-age. You can start it in the creche, and it follows you to death. "

Terry Pratchett

" Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It's when you go backwards through the 'begats' and the Garden of Eden, and you start thinking, 'Hang on, that's a big punishment for eating one lousy apple... There's a human-rights issue.' "

Terry Pratchett

" I don't believe in the war god of the Israelites. He's a bogeyman. Jesus preached the golden rule, by and large. "

Terry Pratchett

" Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me about 'Wind in the Willows' and read it and I thought this is weird, Rat, Mole, Toad and my first ever Bolshie thought - you know about 'The Wind in the Willows.' "

Terry Pratchett

" When you're all singing together, it brings things together. I know the songs that my grandfather and my father sang. "

Terry Pratchett