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" People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they'd have my autograph tattooed. I decided I wouldn't write on people anymore, but I'd give them arms and legs and if they wanted those autographed I'd do that. "

Chuck Palahniuk

See

Legs

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" If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? "

" My books didn't fit a marketing niche. "

" I take a lot of flak from the counter-establishment for selling out. "

" The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it. "

" Sundays tend to be a day where just I do nothing but visit people. It's kind of like trick-or-treating. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Day

Nothing

" The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. "

" Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money. "

" I think in a way, you're doomed, once you can envision something. You're sort of doomed to make it happen. I've found that the moment I can envision leaving a relationship, that's usually the moment that the relationship starts to fall apart. "

" In 2008, while the film version of my book 'Choke' was coming to market, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. That meant that I had to appear in public to promote a comedy about a son trying to save his dying mother - the plot of Choke - while privately I was caring for my own dying mother. It was torture. "

" If you take my stuff apart, you'll find my choruses of repetitions are picked up almost verbatim from Kurt Vonnegut, and my distanced fracture quality is all from Amy Hempel, who's probably my favourite writer. "

" Discovering the 'impossible' ending to a new book makes me sick with joy and relief. "

" Nobody's told me anything to date that I've been completely reviled by. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Nobody

Date

" I never think I'm making fun of my culture. In fact I'm making fun of myself, because I catch myself doing some very stupid things. "

" I wouldn't get nearly as many books written if I lived in New York. The Columbia Gorge is fantastic. When the sun shines, I just want to be outdoors. "

" Why do the lives of writers seem so... train-wrecky? "

" I think my heart always goes out to men at the peak of their celebrity who checked out. There's such an odd, horrible trend in my lifetime for it - Kurt Cobain, David Foster Wallace, Alexander McQueen, Heath Ledger. "

" There's a television show, 'Hoarders,' where people have those homes filled with stuff. Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything. "

" My parents used to fight a lot, and I think they fought a lot at night, and they would turn the television up to hide the sound of their fighting. "

" I am the cause of all my upsets. I am my worst enemy. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Cause

Enemy

" I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustrate my themes. "

" Where would Jesus be if no one had written the gospels? "

" Fiction is no longer the dominant storytelling device of our time. In the 19th century it worked great, and fiction was the king, but it's not the king any more. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Time

Great

" I think it's more important to write something that brings men back to reading than it is to write for people who already read. There's a reason men don't read, and it's because books don't serve men. It's time we produce books that serve men. "

" Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. "

" We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. "

" The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. "

" Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism. "

Chuck Palahniuk

Coping

Mechanism

" My writing process isn't a very organized thing. "

" My goal is never to make fun of religion. "

" I'm always trying to reach a transcendent point, a romantic point, but reach it in a really unconventional way, a really profane way. To get to that romantic, touching, heartbreaking place, but through a lot of acts of profanity. "